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Gordon Brown

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Texture like sun?

A humourless, dour, anally retentive control freak whose idea of a good night out is.... well... who the fu*k knows? The mastermind behind the Inland Revenue's stealth taxation campaign where Income tax stays steady but every other tax (i.e. VAT, road tax, Council tax, Green Tax, fuel duty, alcohol duty, inheritance tax, capital gains tax, parking fines, speeding fines, the future bin collection charge, fines for not recycling etc.) slips slowly upward. Quelle surprise!

Finally the PM as of 28 June 2007. Gordy got sick of waiting for one of the sleaze allegations to get TCB out of the top job and instigated a backbench revolt that forced Tone to name the day, as he was showing about as much likelihood to quit the PM job as the Western Front showed movement in 1916.

Gordys timeline to the top was as follows:

[October 2006. Thirty more sleaze allegations for labour, twenty more incompetences revealed... and he's STILL waiting]

[December 2006. Cash for Honours, BAE's Saudi bribe investigation mysteriously cancelled etc.]

[January 2007. Cash for Honours creeps closer to Tone, BAE's South African bribe investigation ... And on it goes!]

Gordon Brown was one of the main protagonists/enthusiasts for Scottish devolution when the Labour Party was looking for ways to stymie the SNP and grab the last few votes. Since devolution the expected backlash from the English in respect of the West Lothian Question has created pressure to allow the Scottish full independence, or (alternatively) redress the spectacular inequalities this introduced by disallowing Scottish MPs from voting on matters in the Commons that effect English voters only. The mere thought of this now has Gordy Sweating like a...

In light of the problems this may cause for his premiership of the UK (he is a Scottish MP), he has been back-pedalling furiously and has now evolved (a very loose term for his kind) into a fully fledged Unionist. He has started to express a wish for England to win the World Cup even to the point of beating Scotland. Too little too late as far as English voters are concerned AND a total traitor as far as the Scots are concerned. Oddly, without Scottish Labour MPs the Conservatives are guaranteed to win the next election.

The cat is well and truly out of the bag.