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Difference between revisions of "General Sir Mike Jackson"

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Para, need we say more?
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! colspan=2 bgcolor=#669966 | General Sir Mike
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General Sir Michael Jackson, GCB, CBE, DSO, ADC Gen (born 21 March 1944) is a
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Full name: [[General]] Sir Michael David "Mike" Jackson GCB [[CBE]] [[DSO]] DL (late [[The Parachute Regiment|PARA)]]
British army officer, currently British General Staff. He was formerly commander
 
of KFor in Kosovo as well as UNPROFOR (see Timeline of UN peacekeeping
 
missions) commander in Bosnia.
 
  
Jackson's father was in the army. Jackson was commissioned into the Intelligence
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Same name as the grotesque American paedophile cosmetic surgery addict but slightly less scary to look at. Who knows how this will change as Sir Michael follows [[Michael Jackson (Popstar)]] down the slippery slope of plastic facial reconfiguration.
Corps aged 19 in 1963, specialising in the threat from the Soviet Union. He
 
transferred to the Parachute Regiment in 1970 and served in Northern Ireland,
 
rising to become the commanding officer of 1 Para in 1989.
 
  
In the 1990s, Jackson served in the NATO chain of command as a deputy to the  
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Previous holder of the [[British Army]]'s  most senior position as [[Chief of the General Staff]]. Legendary for his drinking abilities, death stare and a face that suffered the hardest paper round in [[NATO]]. Originally commissioned into the [[Intelligence Corps]], he transferred to [[The Parachute Regiment]] as a [[Captain]], in time to be [[Adjutant]] of 1 Para on [[Bloody Sunday]].
Supreme Allied Commander Europe, General Wesley Clark. In this capacity, he is
 
best known for refusing to block the runways of the Russian-occupied Pristina
 
Airport, to isolate the Russian troops there. Had he complied with General
 
Clark's order, there was a chance the British troops under his command could
 
have come into armed conflict with the Russians; doing this without prior orders
 
from Britain would have led to his dismissal for gross insubordination. On the
 
other hand, defying Clark would have meant disobeying a direct order from a
 
superior NATO officer (Clark was a four-star general; Jackson only a
 
three-star). Jackson ultimately chose the latter course of action, though the
 
point became irrelevant when the American government prevailed upon the
 
Hungarians, Romanians, and Bulgarians to prevent the Russians from using their
 
airspace to fly reinforcements in. As a result, he was dubbed "Macho Jacko" by
 
the British tabloid press.
 
  
During the aftermath of the 2003 Iraq War, Jackson, as British General Staff,
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Despite his somewhat ferocious reputation, respect for Sir Michael has wavered in recent years as he has given the impression that he has been 'house-trained' by [[New Labour]]. His dismissal of the idea that British forces on [[Operation TELIC]] 1 were suffering from [[kit]] shortages came as a surprise to those who were in [[Iraq]] without [[NBC]] consumables, plates for their [[CBA]], [[ammunition]] for their weapons and suitable desert clothing. When tackled on TV regarding overstretch within the Armed Forces (the [[British Army|Army]] in particular) he retorted with: "Before we can define what overstretch is we first need to understand what understretch is!" Funnily enough he never mentioned this again due to the fact he was talking a load of bollocks.
ordered an inquiry into pictures released by the British tabloid The Daily
 
Mirror that depicted alleged torture of Iraqi prisoners by British soldiers. The
 
Daily Mirror's editor Piers Morgan was later fired by the newspaper, after the
 
newspaper was unable to prove the provenance of the pictures.
 
  
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Spat his dummy out big style when told that [[Norman Kember]] hadn't said thank you to the allies 5 seconds after being rescued. Never mind the fact that Kember had been kept in poor conditions for months and worrying about his head taking a holiday to the Tigris without him. (I think I'd be a bit dazed after all that)
  
On February 23 2005, soldiers of 1st Battalion, The Royal Regiment of Fusiliers,
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Mike (or [[Pte_Golden|Sir Jackson]] as he is known to his chav mates) got his retirement clock, his set of golden handshake honours and so become a [[civvies|civvi]]. Having served his Furher (T Blair) well, it was expected he'd get a full set and slide off to a cushy job in [[BAE]] where he'd make pronouncements that British Army kit is probably the best (and certainly NOT the most highly marked up) kit in the world.
were found guilty of abuse of Iraqi prisoners arrested for looting at an army
 
camp called Bread Basket, in Basra, during May of 2003. After they were
 
sentenced General Jackson, made a statement on television and said that: he was
 
"appalled and disappointed" when he first saw photographs of the Iraqi detainees and that
 
  
    The incidents depicted are in direct contradiction to the core values and
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A classic illustration of [[The Golden Rule of High Command]].
standards of the British Army ... Nevertheless, in the light of the evidence
 
from this trial I do apologize on behalf of the army to those Iraqis who were
 
abused and to the people of Iraq as a whole.
 
  
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==Nicknames==
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Not that I can imagine that anyone would be brave enough to call him this to his face:
 +
* Prince of Darkness
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* Cha'mon Muthaf***er
  
Jackson had bags under his eyes surgically removed. He refuses to be
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==Recent Developments==
photographed in a suit, preferring military uniform instead, with the famous red
 
beret of the Parachute Regiment.
 
  
 +
Sir Mike has recently (Dec 2006) stopped delivering the party line and has started to give the MoD and the Government a [[shoeing]] regarding the poor way [[squaddie]]s are paid and housed ''(although some have said its too little too late).'' Specifically he said the British armed forces were neglected and 'asked to do too much'. Obergruppenfecker Reid came in for a serious savaging regarding his comments that he hoped British troops would do their time in the Stan 'without firing a shot'. Naive doesn't really cover that statement now does it? ''(... unless you've no knowledge of British Empire history of course!)''
  
He however is a twat, and his loyalty is not with the very men from what his
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[[Category:People and Peoples]]
status grew from.
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[[Category:British Army]]

Latest revision as of 10:00, 11 October 2010

_665133_jackson300.jpg
General Sir Mike

Full name: General Sir Michael David "Mike" Jackson GCB CBE DSO DL (late PARA)

Same name as the grotesque American paedophile cosmetic surgery addict but slightly less scary to look at. Who knows how this will change as Sir Michael follows Michael Jackson (Popstar) down the slippery slope of plastic facial reconfiguration.

Previous holder of the British Army's most senior position as Chief of the General Staff. Legendary for his drinking abilities, death stare and a face that suffered the hardest paper round in NATO. Originally commissioned into the Intelligence Corps, he transferred to The Parachute Regiment as a Captain, in time to be Adjutant of 1 Para on Bloody Sunday.

Despite his somewhat ferocious reputation, respect for Sir Michael has wavered in recent years as he has given the impression that he has been 'house-trained' by New Labour. His dismissal of the idea that British forces on Operation TELIC 1 were suffering from kit shortages came as a surprise to those who were in Iraq without NBC consumables, plates for their CBA, ammunition for their weapons and suitable desert clothing. When tackled on TV regarding overstretch within the Armed Forces (the Army in particular) he retorted with: "Before we can define what overstretch is we first need to understand what understretch is!" Funnily enough he never mentioned this again due to the fact he was talking a load of bollocks.

Spat his dummy out big style when told that Norman Kember hadn't said thank you to the allies 5 seconds after being rescued. Never mind the fact that Kember had been kept in poor conditions for months and worrying about his head taking a holiday to the Tigris without him. (I think I'd be a bit dazed after all that)

Mike (or Sir Jackson as he is known to his chav mates) got his retirement clock, his set of golden handshake honours and so become a civvi. Having served his Furher (T Blair) well, it was expected he'd get a full set and slide off to a cushy job in BAE where he'd make pronouncements that British Army kit is probably the best (and certainly NOT the most highly marked up) kit in the world.

A classic illustration of The Golden Rule of High Command.

Nicknames

Not that I can imagine that anyone would be brave enough to call him this to his face:

  • Prince of Darkness
  • Cha'mon Muthaf***er

Recent Developments

Sir Mike has recently (Dec 2006) stopped delivering the party line and has started to give the MoD and the Government a shoeing regarding the poor way squaddies are paid and housed (although some have said its too little too late). Specifically he said the British armed forces were neglected and 'asked to do too much'. Obergruppenfecker Reid came in for a serious savaging regarding his comments that he hoped British troops would do their time in the Stan 'without firing a shot'. Naive doesn't really cover that statement now does it? (... unless you've no knowledge of British Empire history of course!)