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Friends (TV Programme)

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Utterly dire American TV show much beloved of the female of the species. Something to do with a bunch of 30-something “friends” that… actually it’s so bad that I can’t be bothered. Just read this:

A typical episode:

  1. Actor enters room - HUGE applause and whoops lasting five minutes.
  2. Another actor enters the room - As above.
  3. First actor looks at the other and says “Hey! You rock!” - Even bigger applause and whoops.
  4. Second actor replies “Yeah” - 12 minutes of audience laughter, whooping and clapping reminiscent of mercury-induced mental illness.
  5. Other actors enter and say much the same thing - As above.
  6. Finally, a short and solemn “lesson about life” speech that would (almost) embarrass Steve Wright in its childlike simplicity - Lots of Kermit the Frog nodding and strokey beard.
  7. Credits - Extended applause and whooping.

In all the script takes up about 3 minutes and the applause and whooping fill in the rest of the time.

Critical reception

  • Profound, gritty and complex. One simply wept. – 49 Para
  • I tried watching it but after five minutes I vomited so hard some came out of my nose – Andy McNab