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Friendly Fire

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'Friendly Fire' is the disturbing term given to your own side (or allies) attempting to slot your arrse (probably and hopefully) by mistake. Also called Blue on Blue.

In History

Friendly Fire has been around as long as man has been giving his fellow man a shoeing. The first incidence of Friendly Fire was probably when Urgh and Ugg were throwing stones at their sabre-toothed lunch and Urgh accidentally hit Ugg with a rock. Back then there would not have been an independent inquest (not even Legal Aid for the compensation claim) so it was up to Ugg to deal with it himself.

Close combat accidental injury was originally called 'Friendly Stab' but for some reason that term never really caught on.

Worst Offender

Some nations are more likely to dish out Friendly Fire. Americans have been particularly bad over the decades. Famously during 1944 General George Patton threatened to take his 3rd Army out of the line against the Germans, turn it around 180° and destroy the 8th Army Air Force's airfields if they didn't stop bombing his lead elements.

Recent Spam record in this area has been pretty bad as well. With US helicopters armed with Hellfire missiles, A-10 Warthog ground attack planes equipped with Maverick missiles, trigger happy squaddies with fully automatic weapons and poor eyesight and all with really poor enemy identification charts:- they have slotted Canadians, Brits, their own men (including a professional footballer who quit playing to be a US Ranger), civilians by the hundred, more of their own men, Italian secret service personnel and a goodly number of foreign journalists.

Blackwater USA (private security firm) should be considered hostile on first sight and slotted before they open up on you. This is NOT considered a friendly fire incident but the plugging of a bunch of trigger happy cnuts.


Excuses that could be given in the event of a Friendly Fire incident: (please add)

  • Honestly man, you looked like a raghead in this light!
  • Thought you had heard the rumours about me boffing your wife.
  • I'm American!
  • He looked just like a Rock Ape in the half light.
  • Did anyone see the Bears' game last night?
  • "Oh, BRIT forces ! I thought someone said Shit forces"
  • I work for Blackwater so suck my ass!
  • This isn't Call of Duty? (see 'I'm American')
  • We didn't train for working with Foreign units!
  • I didnt realize the RSM was doing a Gordon Brown impression ... I thought it WAS the one eyed scots git.

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