The ARRSEPedia is the British Army encyclopedia that anyone can edit.

Difference between revisions of "Danger Wank"

From ARRSEpedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
 
(6 intermediate revisions by 4 users not shown)
Line 1: Line 1:
 
Performed by men with a death-wish. A practice which requires the man to be performing a spot of [[Hand to Gland Combat]] and shout for someone else to enter the room. The idea is to finish up and put your [[knob]] away before said person enters said room of debauchery.  
 
Performed by men with a death-wish. A practice which requires the man to be performing a spot of [[Hand to Gland Combat]] and shout for someone else to enter the room. The idea is to finish up and put your [[knob]] away before said person enters said room of debauchery.  
  
 
+
;Remember the purpose of the Danger [[Masturbation|Wank]] is the thrill of possibly being caught, not actually being caught; which will only end with an embarrising situation involving your jizz and your mum. In other words, The Thrill can Kill! .
;Remember the purpose of the Dangerwank is the thrill of possibly being caught, not actually being caught; which will only end with an embarrising situation involving your jizz and your mum.
 
  
 
*An example of a Dangerwank (teens); Wanking in the bathroom with the door left open. Upon approaching 'spooge-central', shout 'Oi Mum! I can't find the shampoo'.
 
*An example of a Dangerwank (teens); Wanking in the bathroom with the door left open. Upon approaching 'spooge-central', shout 'Oi Mum! I can't find the shampoo'.
  
The real Dangerwank connoisseur may try to add an extra element of danger by using extra 'apparatus' - [[Grot]] mag, porn DVD, nipple clamps etc - thus leaving himself even less time for the 'clean-up' due to having to hide the evidence.
+
The real Danger Wank connoisseur may try to add an extra element of danger by using extra 'apparatus' - [[Grot]] mag, porn DVD, nipple clamps etc - thus leaving himself even less time for the 'clean-up' due to having to hide the evidence.
 
Location can also play a large part of adding more danger, for example; On the train just as the ticket collector is approaching - Thus giving you the double problem of having to finish your fun and produce a ticket.
 
Location can also play a large part of adding more danger, for example; On the train just as the ticket collector is approaching - Thus giving you the double problem of having to finish your fun and produce a ticket.
  
;WARNING: Always check that the dangerwank 'Target' is not directly outside the door.
+
;WARNING: Always check that the Danger Wank 'Target' is not directly outside the door.
 
 
{{dictionary}}
 
  
 
(Edited)
 
(Edited)
Line 17: Line 14:
 
To bring a more military feel to the matter, a Danger Wank can be carried out in any of the following locations:
 
To bring a more military feel to the matter, a Danger Wank can be carried out in any of the following locations:
  
- Any chemical toilet in Iraq or Afghanistan during mid-day wearing full Osprey, the danger being that you might pass out due to the extreme heat
+
* Any chemical toilet in [[Iraq]] or [[Afghanistan]] during mid-day wearing full Osprey, the danger being that you might pass out due to the extreme heat
- Rooftop of the PJCC in Basrah with helmet and Osprey off to allow free movement, preferably in the snipers sangar, putting used tissues down the sides of the sandbag wall
+
 
- Any office of any high ranking personnel. Brigade in Iraq ideal for this thanks to numerous locations. PJCC again ample location, especially the IO's office late at night
+
* Rooftop of the PJCC in Basrah with helmet and Osprey off to allow free movement, preferably in the [[sniper]]s [[sangar]], putting used tissues down the sides of the sandbag wall
- Any aircraft or vehicle which is carrying other people
+
 
 +
* Any office of any high ranking personnel. [[Brigade]] in Iraq ideal for this thanks to numerous locations. PJCC again ample location, especially the IO's office late at night
 +
 
 +
* Any aircraft or vehicle which is carrying other people
 +
 
 +
* Whilst providing top cover
 +
 
 +
* In the large communal showers at [[Nanyuki]] Show Ground hoping that the big [[full screw]] from [[3 Scots]] will catch you.
 +
 
 +
==Danger Perv==
 +
 
 +
Similar to above but involving the sexual thrill of stirring at an individual without the embarassing risk of being cought.
 +
 
 +
{{Template: Dictionary}}

Latest revision as of 20:08, 24 January 2009

Performed by men with a death-wish. A practice which requires the man to be performing a spot of Hand to Gland Combat and shout for someone else to enter the room. The idea is to finish up and put your knob away before said person enters said room of debauchery.

Remember the purpose of the Danger Wank is the thrill of possibly being caught, not actually being caught; which will only end with an embarrising situation involving your jizz and your mum. In other words, The Thrill can Kill! .
  • An example of a Dangerwank (teens); Wanking in the bathroom with the door left open. Upon approaching 'spooge-central', shout 'Oi Mum! I can't find the shampoo'.

The real Danger Wank connoisseur may try to add an extra element of danger by using extra 'apparatus' - Grot mag, porn DVD, nipple clamps etc - thus leaving himself even less time for the 'clean-up' due to having to hide the evidence. Location can also play a large part of adding more danger, for example; On the train just as the ticket collector is approaching - Thus giving you the double problem of having to finish your fun and produce a ticket.

WARNING
Always check that the Danger Wank 'Target' is not directly outside the door.

(Edited)

To bring a more military feel to the matter, a Danger Wank can be carried out in any of the following locations:

  • Any chemical toilet in Iraq or Afghanistan during mid-day wearing full Osprey, the danger being that you might pass out due to the extreme heat
  • Rooftop of the PJCC in Basrah with helmet and Osprey off to allow free movement, preferably in the snipers sangar, putting used tissues down the sides of the sandbag wall
  • Any office of any high ranking personnel. Brigade in Iraq ideal for this thanks to numerous locations. PJCC again ample location, especially the IO's office late at night
  • Any aircraft or vehicle which is carrying other people
  • Whilst providing top cover

Danger Perv

Similar to above but involving the sexual thrill of stirring at an individual without the embarassing risk of being cought.

libraryimage.jpg Find out more in the Dictionary