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Conservative Party

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Revision as of 06:55, 19 June 2009 by Stoatman (talk | contribs) (cillit bang??? ;))
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Currently the party in opposition to Her Maj's New Labour Government and filled with politicians desperately trying to look innocent - and let Gordon's bunch hang themselves with sleaze and incompetence (which they've had more than their fair share of).

Since the New Labour victory in 1997, the Tories have missed more opportunities to put the boot in than most people can care to remember. But this next election they're here to stay after Gordon's managed to shaft up everything so far from Afghanistan to the economy.

Obviously the best Prime ministers have been Conservative, the best being Winston Churchill (Alternative view; a drunkard who had failed at pretty much everything he'd ever attempted and was only kept in check from insisting on ludicrous policies during WWII by the efforts of people like Alan Brooke) and the second best The Iron Mrs T or Margaret Thatcher as she is usually known (alternative socialist view is sour grapes cause she whupped tham good so doesn't matter).

Being realistic here, and despite their large popularity at the moment, they are still complete scum. As are all politicians. But, the Conservatives are 3 squirts of Cillit Bang scum to Labour's 5 squirts. Dose the power!

Part of their problem is that they have to spend the 1st 3 or 4 years of every term in office desperately trying to fix the train set after Labour have trashed it (which they have a 100% record of doing), to much criticism from the ever-impartial-and-never-Labour-supporting-at-all-honest BBC, so frankly it is a wonder that they ever manage to get elected all, despite objectively being the best at actually running the damn country. Hell, if the BBC wasn't a mouthpiece for Labour at important moments in the electoral cycle, the Conservatives would never be out of government!