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ARRSE Maidens

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(noun)A lady whose tradesman's entrance is left on the lightest of latches should an honest journeyman seek bum love within.

Female ARRSE members who the Adonis-like male ARRSE population enjoy referring to as Hippocrocagrillapigs or Forty tonne behemoths. The word 'Maiden' is used in many literary contexts to imply virginity but this is not the case in this instance; in fact for the majority of female Arrsers, the last time they saw their virginity was about the last time they were able to see their feet when standing upright.

Following the introduction of the Miss ARRSE 2005 contest it turns out that a significant number of our lovely girls have been falsely describing themselves as pigs in knickers (presumably to fend off unwelcome advances in chat). With sight of around 20 of the delightful creatures it turns out that we have a number of girls with movie star looks as members and some of us have difficulty concentrating on work now.

The peculiar thing about ARRSE-Maidens is that they are all described as being 'yummy' and 'gorgeous' and 'sexy' and so forth, but photographic evidence contradicts this. Only some are these things - the rest are utterly disgusting.

One can only assume regarding those Maidens who have not (yet) submitted pics.........

Some 'maidens' are part of the Knitting Circle

Apparently, according to a very well known MALE ARRSEr, the collective noun for a group of ARRSE Maidens is a BANG GANG.

According to another very well known MALE ARRSEr some of them need to work on their fitness - they seem to have taken him at his word:

ARSSE Maidens out for a ride

See also Pig in Knickers.