Z Battery RA

Introduction

Across the mists of time, many brave tales of courage and spartan hardship abound in the annals of military history. History, of course, is written by the victors and this might account for some of the gaping holes in the account of Z Battery. Fear not! For as your humble scribe I will now relate to you the entire past, present and future of this mighty beast!

Z Battery, 1824

Two things happened in 1824. The Burmese war, and the formation of Z Battery. Not so quick! It is a common error to believe that Z Battery was formed in 1824, in actual fact the reality is very different. In 1776, the BC was fined £1824 for seducing the CO's daugther. He paid to keep his position, but was quite bitter about it. After one particuarly messy mess do he scrawled the '1824' under the 'Z' on the sign, and thus the confusion was born.

Achilles & the Campaign against Troy

The first known written record of Z Battery comes to us from the Iliad. Achilles and his intrepid army, 'Z Battery', were camped by the Greek ships refusing to fight. The lovely Brises had been taken from Achilles, and he refused to let his men rejoin the battle until she was returned. After this was done, Z Battery and their STA wizards saved the day and slaughtered every man, and male child in the city! Tea and medals for everyone!

The 300

Actually, back in the day Z Battery had an even more impressive reputation for being hard than they do now. They lived in Laconia in a city called 'Sparta' and were responsible for one of the greatest military victories in histoty. Led by WO2 Leonidas, they managed to hold a key pass for 48 hours, enabling the girly Athenians to come and provide back up. Tea and Medals for everyone!

The Peleponessean War(s)

The Hellas world was in chaos, with city state pitched against city state....and a huge enslaving empire to the north threatening to bear down and wipe out any notion of freedom. Who better to unite the Greeks in a devastating display of brilliance across land and sea than Z Battery, Royal Artillery? That was a job well done.

The Campaigns of Alexander the Great

We won all of these too.

The Roman Empire & Z Legion & it starts to all go wrong

In the second century BC Z battery joins a scrappy group of hopefuls in Rome, and helps to establish one of the most successful empires the world has ever seen. After the famous 'pax augustus' Z Battery becomes a legion and spends the next 400 years touring the provinces, quashing rebellion everywhere it goes. This is where things go a bit wrong. In the mid 4th century, Z Legion wind up in Britain and the wages dry up. The Legion vanishes, and there are several postulated theories:

1. A really competitive game of hide and seek got totally out of hand. 2. No one works for free, everyone went home. 3. After slaughtering the local men, the local women looked a bit tasty. 4. Someone let the officer 'have a bash' at map reading.

In any case, nothing was heard again...until 1914.

AD 450-AD 1914

See above, presumed to be on the piss.

1914

In October 1914 Z Battery was brought back into service as part of the RHA, inititally based at Ipswich with G and O batteries, before G moved to 3rd Cavalry Division in November 1914. A section from each of 55 and 57 Howitzer Batteries RFA joined in May 16 and redesignated were D Battery, which was then broken up Jan 1917. O and Z Batteries were in Fourth Army in January 1917.

Before this date, there is a record of a 'Z Battery' serving in World War One. After L Battery, (Aldershot), suffered catastrophic losses at 'Affair of Nevy' on 1st September 1914; it was withdrawn from service to be reformed in the UK. A composite Battery known as 'Z Battery' were sent forward to hold the front until H Battery from VI Brigade could provide a more permenant alternative in late September 1914. It is not known if these soldiers then went on to become the Z Battery reformed in October 1914.

The 1939-1945 Conflict with Germany

On July 14th 1942 Z battery reformed, as '178 Z Battery', consisting of 40 Home Guard Soldiers; trained by the regular RA. By the 11th November 1942 Z Battery was considered operational. The battery was then brought up to strength to 1444 Officers and men. They were based in Bethnal Green; as part of the 101st Kent Home Guard, Z Battery protected London from an airborne threat. It's weapon was the #2, mark 1 3-inch rocket projector and the battery carried 64 twin rocket projectors in total.

From the 11th Nov '42 to 1st Nov '44 the battery was on alert for 234 alarms and fired 14 times in anger.

Regular Battery Commander RA Major M.W. Williams, RA Home Guard Battery Commander Major P.T. Rogers Administrative Officer RA Capt E. Trestrail, RA

Whoops!

On 3 March 1943 at 8:27PM the unopened Bethnal Green tube station was the site of a wartime disaster. Families had crowded into the underground station due to an air raid siren at 8:17, one of 10 that day. There was a panic at 8:27 coinciding with the sound of an anti-aircraft battery (possibly the recently installed Z battery) being fired at nearby Victoria Park. In the wet, dark conditions, a woman slipped on the entrance stairs and 173 people died in the resulting crush. Although a report was filed by Eric Linden with the Daily Mail, who witnessed it, it never ran. The story which was reported instead was that there had been a direct hit by a German bomb. The results of the official investigation were not released until 1946.[7] There is now a plaque at the entrance to the tube station, which commemorates it as the worst civilian disaster of World War II.

Z Battery 2009-Present

Z battery in its current incarnation was formed from the other batteries in 5 Regiment. The CO organised a massive game of musical chairs on the parade square, and the first 30 or so who lost had to be in Z Battery, shit bust. Never fear! Soon the brand new, just out of phase two recruits started arriving. As a battery, the fitness level is quite high. Tragically, the 'fitness' level is catastrophically low. (Rumours that the game of musical chairs was fixed and simply a ruse to jettison uglies from the rest of the regiment are denied). Strangely enough, this policy of recruiting homely looking gunners from phase two has been more rigidly applied than an RSM's number twos, and looks set to continue on into the future. But there is some hope...

Attached personnel

Due to the brand-spanking-newness of the battery, there are some attached personnel. Bringing good looks; modesty, charm and natty dressing are the gents and ladies of the TA. Currently bringing the relative atractiveness of the battery up by some 70%, they can be seen looking confused at the prospect of running more than two PFT's within the same training year, getting excited over training with equipment that is not a historic relic, and telling everyone about what they got up to in Iraq.

There are some people from 12 Rgt too.