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Wank

From ARRSEpedia

As with a lot of descriptive adjectives in the English language, the provenence of this word is hard to trace (dictionary compilers being notoriously prudish).

Generally, however:

Wank (vb) - to masturbate.
Wanker (adj) - contemptible.

[edit] Derivation

On the subject of onanism generally, the supposed biblical restiction on, "self-abuse," is derived from Genesis 38:

"[8] And Judah said unto Onan, Go in unto thy brother's wife, and marry her, and raise up seed to thy brother. [9] And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother's wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest that he should give seed to his brother."

How that became, "Thou shalt not thrudge." is a bit of a mystery.

The verb,"masturbate," is only recorded from 1857 - just in time for Baden-Powell to advise against it in the hilariously named, "Scouting for Boys."

Arguably, wanking has been the single largest motivator for the development of t'internet. Who, after all, would use it if its only function was to search out obscure academic papers?

[edit] The Wanking Song

The tune escapes me for the moment, but it's from a Neapolitan opera:

Last night I had a fit of masturbation,
It did me good - I knew it would
First, I gave it the long stroke,
Right up and down, right up and down.
Then, I gave it the short stroke,
And tickled the crown, and tickled the crown.
I eased it, squeezed it, jammed it in the door
Squashed it, tossed it, slammed it on the floor
Some say that sexual intercourse is really rather grand,
Speaking for myself, I think I prefer the hand.