The British Military Open Encyclopedia - ARRSE-Pedia. Back to British Army Rumour Service Home

From ARRSEpedia

Wikinerd - and proud of it!

Buck Felize

Buckfast Athanasius Gruppenfuhrer Felize PVR* (1966-) Cynical misanthropic pessimist who likes to be pleasantly surprised once in a while. Noteworthy Arrsepedian, alcoholic and self-abuser.

Derided by some and loathed by many for his outspoken views and general irreverence, Felize has nevertheless carved out a niche in what's left of a largely failed career. Once accused of being a serial Narcissist, this individual is characterised by the self-loathing that invariably accompanies brilliance.

Variously described as being a rake, wastrel, gadabout and rogue, Felize - who suffers from terminal outrage - once appeared as a nude centrespread in Antique Jellymould Collector Magazine, where his flashing smile (and little else) endeared him to legions of ageing spinsters. Felize was awarded the Spirit of the WI trophy in 1990 by the Women's Institute - an accolade of which he is immensely proud.

His finest hour was persuading a very drunken Su Pollard to engage in a bout of naked Twister. Unfortunately, this was in the pre-digital age and therefore does not appear on YouTube. Attempts to reconstruct this event with a Pollard look-a-like have failed miserably.

Currently in hiding due to the Peterborough branch of Hezbollah sussing his IP address after disparaging remarks were made about believers of the Islamic faith. Constant petition signing, outstanding Council tax bills and parking fines has also earmarked this individual for special attention from the Security Service, various local councils and debt recovery agencies. Buckfast Felize is a former Crab and ex-TA Scaley.

This user is a SysOp and ARRSEpedia guru. This user is a Top Contributor. This user is a Walt Finder This User is an ex- Crab. This user is a member of 49 Para This user is a Scaley Back 3K This user has over 3000 edits on the ARRSEpedia. How sad is that?