Politics
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Politics is the art or science of appearance of government or governing, especially the governing of a political entity by monkeys, such as a nation, and the administration and illusion of control of its internal and external affairs.
If you want to know more about politics, consider the use of mind-bending drugs, electric shock therapy and if the urge persists Napalm Deth; if the music doesn't kill you, the practice hopefully will.
It should also be noted that ARRSE is awash with pseudo-intellectual types who believe they are politically very savvy indeed. If you can stand the histrionics, posturing, name-dropping and gratuitous use of smilies, then browse away.
Contents |
Political Parties in the UK
| Party | Representation | Comments | ||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| House of Commons | Scotland | Wales | Northern Ireland | Europe | ||
| Labour Party | 355 | 46 | 26 | N/A | 19 | Traditionally left-wing now claims the "centre ground" of British politics; allied to Trade unions; free market policies have replaced its earlier socialist platform in recent years; supports greater European integration; socially progressive |
| Conservative Party | 197 | 17 | 12 | 0 | 27 | Centre-right to right-wing party; committed to free markets since 1940s; opposes greater European integration; socially conservative |
| Liberal Democrats | 63 | 16 | 6 | N/A | 12 | Traditionally centrist, has drifted increasingly to the left since the emergence of New Labour; supports greater European integration; socially progressive |
| Democratic Unionist Party | 9 | N/A | N/A | 36 | 0 | More hardline Unionist party in Northern Ireland, has a rightwing political agenda |
| Scottish National Party | 6 [The Scottish National Party and Plaid Cymru work as a group in the House of Commons] | 47 | N/A | N/A | 2 | Centre-left party in favour of Scottish independence. |
| Sinn Féin | 5 | N/A | N/A | 28 | 1 [Sinn Féin have one MEP from a UK constituency and another from the Republic of Ireland.] | Irish Republican party in Northern Ireland, supports Socialism. Do not take their seats in the House of Commons. |
| Plaid Cymru | 3 | N/A | 15 | N/A | 1 | Centre-left party in favour of Welsh independence. |
| Social Democratic and Labour Party | 3 | N/A | N/A | 16 | 0 | Constitutional Irish nationalist party in Northern Ireland, has a centre-left and social democratic political orientation. |
| Ulster Unionist Party | 1 | N/A | N/A | 18 | 1 | Unionist party in Northern Ireland which is traditionally an amalgam of the political spectrum, considered more moderate than the Democratic Unionist Party. |
| Respect Coalition (aka RESPECT) | 1 | N/A | 0 | N/A | 0 | Left wing party active in England and Wales; concentrates on an anti-war platform. Ideology is democratic socialism. |
| Independent Kidderminster Hospital and Health Concern | 1 | N/A | N/A | N/A | N/A | Local party based in Kidderminster. |
| Scottish Green Party | 0 | 2 | N/A | N/A | 0 | Ecologist party in favour of Scottish independence. |
| Alliance Party of Northern Ireland | 0 | N/A | N/A | 7 | 0 | Liberal party in Northern Ireland that aims to breakdown sectarian divisions between Catholics and Protestants. Has a neutral stance on the Constitutional issue of Northern Ireland's status and is linked with the Liberal Democrats |
| Progressive Unionist Party | 0 | N/A | N/A | 1 | 0 | Loyalist party in Northern Ireland broadly sympathetic to the Labour Party, has links to a loyalist paramilitary, the Ulster Volunteer Force. |
| Green Party in Northern Ireland | 0 | N/A | N/A | 1 | 0 | Ecologist party in Northern Ireland. |
| UK Independence Party (aka UKIP) | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 10 | Eurosceptic party which favours withdrawal from the EU and free market economics. |
| Green Party of England and Wales | 0 | N/A | 0 | N/A | 2 | Generally centre-left, ecologist party. |
Politicians - WTF??!?
A politician is someone who manages to convince enough people that they are fit to make important decisions about how a society is organized. There are a number of ways they might go about this.
- Pretending to 'care'.
- Threatening violence.
- Lying - possibly the favourite weapon.
- Bribery - although usually only once in power.
- Sucking every voting age citizen's penis, one man at a time.
- Not being a member of the Nazi/Green/Communist parties.
Politicians - How They Get Chosen
- An insincere smile.
- Babykissing.
- Pretending to have been in a trendy band at University.
- Not being a Person of Apparent African extraction.
- Lack of experience of work of any kind.
- Propensity to despise the Armed Forces.
Wikilink
See Politician
