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Yo ma little puppy now!

Once the greatest Running Back in American Football, Simpson retired and became an actor, popping up in the Naked Gun movies. 'OJ' 'allegedly' murdered his wife Nicole and her 'lover' Ron Goldman and this resulted in the first major televised celebrity trial where a jury of hand-selected black people and members of his family found him not guilty of murder.

A civil court of white people found him guilty of being a dirty, black murderer and instructed the civil court that he owed the family of the dead lover 35 million dollars (which he's never bothered to pay).

OJ swore that he would search America for the real killers and has spent the last ten years searching the golf courses of American for the true murderers while living off his NFL pension of (I think) $25,000 a month (which cannot be touched by the Goldman family).

He recently tried to market a book about 'How he COULD have done the murders' (called if I DID IT!) but the backlash was so vicious that even the FOX network decided to pull the story. It's said he wrote the book cause he's broke. Good!

On the plus side, however, when the Police attempted to arrest Simpson, he drove off in his SUV, and for several hours, American TV channels aired live coverage of the slow-speed pursuit that ended with OJ in handcuffs. To do this, they had to abandon plans to cover David Hasselhoff's first major, live, televised Pay-Per-View concert. So whatever else OJ may have done, he is responsible for confining the playing of Hasselhoff's 'music' almost entirely to the territory of the Federal Republic of Germany. That has to be seen as a major humanitarian achievement.

[edit] Bringing the Story up to Date

OJ was in Las Vegas for a wedding. He heard that two dodgy memorabilia vendors were in town to sell some OJ collectables (game balls, the suit from the above court case) which OJ believed to have been stolen from him.

Getting a few of his golfing buddies and a couple of gats together they went looking to get the kit back.

Cue assault, waving of guns, threats, arrest, criminal charges and a court case which ended exactly 13 years after the above court case ended ... except this one went the other way. OJ was found guilty of 1st Degree Kidnapping with a firearm and has been sent down for 15 years. The other shoe has finally fallen and if you believe (like me) the cnut was guilty ... then justice is finally served.