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Military Cliches

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  • Twice round my beautiful bronzed body, GO!
  • Hands off cocks, on socks
  • The blue ribbon donates a water feature on the model
  • Pacifically I mean that..........
  • Can't means won't - won't means jail
  • Rip yer arm away like you're ripping Michael Jackson off your son
  • You are in your own time now
  • You are shaggin idle
  • This isn't an attendance only course
  • I've spent longer in NAAFI queues
  • I was in Baghdad when you were swilling round in your dads bag
  • I could make more noise slapping my cock off the urinal.
  • That fcuking bedblock looks like an elephants nest
  • These balls are Gristle not crystal
  • Today its buttons, tomorrow its ammo pouches, the day after its submarine hatches
  • My tea is a salad and my wife is ugly
  • The ball is in your court
  • You write your own report
  • I'm going to shove this pace stick through your ears and ride you round the square like a motorbike!
  • I'm gonna rip your arm off and beat you to death with the soggy end!
  • Admin - it's not a small town in China!
  • If its not Raining its not Training!
  • If its not snowing, we're not going!
  • Strike, seize and grasp the rifle in a Y like grip - If you break it you can have the afternoon off and I'll buy you another
  • I couldnt give a fcuk about your problems, I do warfare not welfare.
  • If you have an issue, grab a tissue.
  • Did you iron that with a pillow/cold iron/cold mess tin.
  • What did you iron that with? A hot rock?
  • What did you iron that with? A Fcuking Thunderflash?
  • Slick drills, Easy kills.
  • Move the rifle around your head, NOT your head around the rifle
  • In a smart, uniform AND soldier-like fashion.
  • Dig the heels in - MORE YET!
  • Your other left
  • Move... with the speed of a thousand gazelles
  • You...get in a bucket of sand and sing the desert song.
  • Open your legs - your mum did!
  • I was on the main gate when you were on Cow & Gate.
  • Don't get a sad on, get a mag on, and get a stag on.
  • Drill is like a man. It always comes.
  • Drill is a pill to be taken twice daily - not as a punishment but as a tonic to life.
  • Stand still when you're moving!
  • Get some time in.
  • You have had more sleep than the unknown soldier
  • There are three type of sarge- sausage, massage and back passage
  • Get a move on laddie or I'll stick my dick in your ear and make you look like a petrol pump!
  • When I want your fcuking opinion I'll give it to you.
  • I've rolled the rover over, over.
  • Spread out, in a bunch.
  • Screw the Bobbin
  • Whose coat is this jacket?
  • Youve had more time off than John Waynes Safety Catch!
  • Look in, listen in!
  • Admin by thunderflash.
  • your only one shot away from command
  • Stick a fork in me, I'm done.
  • x days and a wakeup.
  • Space is scarce, so pack it in: nut to butt. Make your buddy smile.
  • Nuts.
  • Dub your soldiers Royal Knights of Shamalot.
  • Hop on the no-work train to Sham Central Station.
  • Eat it now, taste it later.
  • Mamasan: 'Fcuk you GI.'
  • DS with accent so thick he is unintelligable: 'What am I speaking? Chinese?!'
  • Move with a purpose.
  • Quit your smokin' and jokin'; it's time to get hot 'n' heavy.
  • You may have the rest of your airborne life to deploy your reserve shoot.
  • That's fcuked up like a football bat.
  • You are a soup sandwich.
  • And America's greatest contribution to the military vernacular: Fcukin' aye!
  • When ......(Name) joined up, the Dead Sea first reported sick.
  • When ......(Name) joined up, Centurion was a rank, not a Tank.
  • When ......(Name) joined up, Pontius was a Navigator.
  • When ......(Name) joined up, Wellington was a General, not a boot.
  • As one door shuts another one closes.
  • No chitty, no pity
  • Am I hurting you son, I should be I'm stood on your Sh*ggin hair
  • Stand still!
  • Sir, you are confusing your rank with my authority.
  • ------ will go far, as long as transport is provided.
  • Go and see the Q for a long weight/tin of tartan paint.
  • Look this way for a complete demonstration.
  • Good point, well presented...
  • No names, no pack drill
  • Go and take your head for a sh*t
  • Waste of rations / Oxygen thief
  • ...with the body erect and SQUARE TO THE FRONT!!!
  • I was in uniform when you were in liquid form.
  • Make like a swastika.
  • He'll go a long way......on a travel warrant.
  • Does anyone NOT understand this movement?
  • ONE!...TwoThree...ONE!
  • Get yer arms shoulder high!