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British Broadcasting Corporation
Or Bliar's Bullshit Conveyor (you can obviously replace Blair with Brown!)
Either way, always the first on top of any news, anywhere, anytime. Once a beacon of sensibility, neutrality and objectivity in an otherwise mad world, 'Aunty Beeb' delivered the news in a clipped, brylcreemed, dinner-suited and quintessentially English way. Now hideously politicised by Neu Arbeit and its Leftie cohorts, and staffed by war heroes and liberators like John Simpson and (formerly) Martin Bell.
These typically like to journey to the most dangerous, smelly places on the planet and then whinge to the MoD when the Army doesn't turn up to save them from the natives with the sharp fruit. They occasionally get slotted, whereupon there is much hand-wringing and inquests as to how the tragedy happened. For happening tragedies read foreign policy... or rather lack of.
Not quite in Neutral
The BBC was extremely surprised (the only people who were) and took it quite hard when they were told they are a biased, liberal bunch of pinkos. Read the story here. Of course they did F all about it and if anything the Beeb is even more in the pocket of the leftie liberals now than then and so further out of step with the Brit in the street.
Increasingly embarrassing for a supposed quality news source is the promotion of Hamas as something other than terrorists. During recent rocketing of Israel which preceded a major retaliatory raid you would, if you listened only to the beeb, believe that Israel had kicked off for no reason. Giving air time to Muslim groups who scream Nazis to everything and everybody who doesn't worship Allah simply made them look like they are pandering to militants... THEN they did a complete and unexpected U turn and refused to broadcast a tear jerking demand for money from a collection of charidees intent on paying for Hamas' next generation of rockets.
As it all goes tits up with its reputation, the BBC is desperate for scoops to show it is still number one. Since the Hutton report, sucking up to labour has become blatant with ministerial interviews turning into party political broadcasts. BBC Political editor Nick Robinson is so up liebors arrse, you cant even see his feet. Its actually embarrassing to see him fawn over labour ministers. Worse still - BBC Business reporter Robert Peston blatantly leaked secret briefs from No 10 which promptly crashed the market. When asked if he had crashed the market he rather arrogantly, and apparently without care in the world, shrugged.
Quite simply the once great Auntie Beeb is now nothing more than a publicly funded (with menaces) Labour party mouthpiece for whatever kneejerk reaction Brown has today.
A case study in BBC bias: the 6 o'clock News on Friday 5/6/09, featuring the county election results
The line taken: bit of a bad day for Labour, a good day for the Liberal Democrats since they took Bristol, and the Conservatives didn't do as well as expected and Call Me Dave should be disappointed with the result of 38% of the popular vote.
The interviews: a party political broadcast on behalf of the Labour Party, followed by an aggressive interview of Call Me Dave.
What they didn't tell you: although they couldn't avoid reporting on fact that Labour was wiped out, they were as positive as possible towards them. They didn't say that the Liberal Democrats lost two safe counties, namely Somerset and Devon, so were one down overall, and that almost the entire map was BLUE. They kept focusing on the 38% of the popular vote that the Conservatives achieved, but did not say that Labour only achieved 36% of the popular vote at the last general election.
Recently the BBC has decided that it must change its website from an easily-readable, sensibly-organised one into a 16 year old girl's myspace page. It gives no reason for the change other than 'The website hasn't changed for four years, it needed a lick of paint.' Due to their epic failure the beta website looks like it was designed by Apple in association with a gay pride parade.
The website now has the following 2.ohfuck features:
- Overuse of the colour purple.
- Less content but more blank space between things.
- Size 18 text.
- Overuse of rounded corners. Squared off corners are sooooooo 1-point-ohfuuuuukkkkkk.
- A fucking stupid analogue clock that distracts you when you already have a clock in your task bar (digital clocks are soooo 1-point-ohshit and not nearly hi technicaaaaal enough).
- Customisable layout that you'll have to go though five minutes setting up again every time you clean your cookies so you don't get London's news and weather on the page fucking the place up.
- Clashing links that change colour to draw your interest to other links that may interest you when you click one. This doesn't actually work though as a load of sport headlines try to draw attention to themselves if you click on a link to a comedy program.
All this is probably really impressive if you live in Kensington, own an i-phone, drink your own piss and include your Aga as a family member when filling in your census forms.
See also: Journo.
See also: ITV.