Letters

Largely obsolete method of communication. Once was the time when one could pen a lengthy missive to the Times. These days, the 'Thunderer' will accept text messages.

Not to be confused with post-nominal letters, which indicate the user has either PVR'd, or is none other than Sir Alan Mcilwraith. DSO B&Q MFI

French Letters can be of two types:

1. A letter (as above) written in France or in French.
2. A contraceptive device probably with knobbly bits, ticklers, bells and indeed whistles. See condom.