Grot

1. Pornography

2. Generic term for the grotesque, unhygienic and extreme recreational behaviour practised by certain infantry units in order to reinforce their "Otherness" and eliteness.

Should you ever be tempted to take part in a grot contest, ask yourself these questions:

i. Can I eat somebody elses shit or vomit or fag butts any other bodily by-product, let alone my own?

ii. Could I, for the sake of argument, fellate another Booty in front of a bus-load of horrified Matelots?

iii. Could I take part in, with a reasonable hope of winning, Soggy Biscuit or Speckles?

If the answer to any of these is "No", swallow your pride and go home for a Horlix and a night in front of the telly.

3. The subbie's mess (sleeping cabin) on board HM grey war canoes.

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