Goat

I love you yes I do and I know that you luva me too

Four-legged horned mammal beloved of the British Army - for various reasons. At one time, there used to be several regimental goats - with virtually every Welsh regiment having their own.

Successive defence cuts and amalgamations have whittled these away to just one: Shenkin, the Persian of the Royal Welsh.

The goat is traditionally looked after by the Regimental Goat Major, who - by logic - is a corporal. This rather grand-sounding position can be viewed as either:

• An honour, or...
• A fucking nuisance extra

Unfortunately (if you're a goat) goats are 'the' favoured ingredient in curries - notably ones manufactured by Gurkhas. Nothing gladdens their hearts quite like ol' Billy being lowered slowly in to the bubbling gastronomic maelstrom - after having his swede whipped off with a deft sweep of the kukri.

The word 'goat' is also used to describe something that has gone horribly wrong, or is a total mess, i.e. a total goat-fuck. A similar state of affairs to a Cake and Arse Party or a Spinning Bow Tie Extravaganza.

Find out more in the Dictionary