Gentleman's Relish

1. A salty anchovy paste which should apparently be applied sparingly to slices of lightly buttered toast, Carr's Water biscuits and other equally nancy receptacles. It also has the bogus Latin name 'Patum Peperium'. A cheaper way of achieving the same taste experience would be to have oral sex with a female partner after she'd just ridden fifteen miles on a pushbike with broken gearshifters.

2. Sperm.