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Field Marshal

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Serious version:

Field Marshal is the ultimate rank in the British Army. A Field Marshal is responsible for the command of a group of armies (a formation in the same way as Bde and Div etc are formations). On appointment to this rank the holder is given a golden baton, which is the symbol of the office. This appointment is for life, with the holder never retiring.

Tongue-in-Cheek version:

The highest rank in the British Army and once reached you are there for life. As the Army is now so small, there is no requirement for any Field Marshals; In the First World War Generals were promoted to Field Marshal for expending thousands of Squaddies lives to enable them to move their Drinks Cabinets 20 feet nearer to Berlin.

Officers: Second Lieutenant | Lieutenant | Captain | Major | Lieutenant Colonel | Colonel | Brigadier | Major General | Lieutenant General | General | Field Marshal
Non-commissioned: Private | Lance Corporal | Corporal | Sergeant | Staff Sergeant | Warrant Officer Class 2 | Warrant Officer Class 1