Bugsy

A self-confessed (and self-obsessed) communist and vegan of Irish descent who likes to argue lost wars in the Intelligence Cell. Signs off his posts with 'MSG,' the abbreviation of Mit Socialistischen Grüßen, (with socialist greetings,) the communist East German version of the previously popular phrase in that area, 'Heil Hitler.' Strange how some people feel one version of murdering extremist is so much more socially acceptable than another.

Known for his peculiar style of debating to get his point across.

Bugsy’s MO:

1) Present an unproven, challenging or idiotic belief for discussion (or force an open door) with 100% enthusiasm and a hint of grandfatherly “wisdom” and “tongue in cheek” (ohhh, we’re soooooo daring to walk the limits of science and human capabilities!!!!)

2) Par the first reasonable critics with long posts of unsubstantiated post-modernist, quasi-intellectual-sounding empty drivel. Use a lot of “you don’t present any facts”.

3) When the facts are coming in left, right and centre -> don’t duck. Just post more inane tripe to try to confuse the challenger.

4) When it’s no longer an option to ignore the vast amount of evidence against your original post, play the “it’s an opinion” or “it’s a belief” card. Everybody has opinions or beliefs and they should all be valued equally. Innit.

5) After other posters point out not every opinion is valued equally, start digging and maintain for another 4 odd posts that they’re wrong and you’re right.

5a) Optionally, briefly divert at this stage onto the pet topic of "true" socialism, and how it is so incredibly super duper and perfect if you could only convince people about it and then we could destroy capitalism (greatest threat to the universe, don't you know?) and everyone would live happily ever after in a Lala land of fairy dust and unicorn farts free from the tyranny of people wanting self-betterment.... And breathe...

6 ) When sensible criticism is still inbound (meaning a few posters haven’t given up on educating you) throw in the minority card. Flavour of the month is “Irish”. Some suggestions:

i. Oh, you really told this thick paddy

ii. Make me look like a silly mick

iii. Just because we eat spuds it doesn’t mean we’re omnivores

7) Start calling people “mucker”

8) You’ve set the tone of the debate now. Keep going. After the “Irish stuff” wears thin, play the underdog. But pretend you’re not really affected by it. Some suggestions:

i. You just want to make me look inferior so you come across as superior.

ii. Oh, you really want to get in the good book of the big boys on ARRSE.

iii. Poor me, people just post abuse instead of debating.

9) By now you’ve effectively lost 90% of the readers of the thread. There’s still this 10% persisting people trying to reason with you. Start taking the moral high ground by saying you’d never resort to abuse or name calling because it is too easy. Give a few examples to show them how easy it is and make sure you stress you would never resort to this. Meanwhile drop in as much name calling as you can cramp in.

i. Odd_Sarge (Ord_Sgt)

ii. Sixtydotfool (Sixty)

iii. Friedalfie (fivealpha)

10) When the critics don’t go away, dish out a couple of umlauts to show them you can fight in multiple languages.

i. Mücker

ii. Fück

iii. Cünt

10a) This is now an appropriate time for Optional Special Move Nummer Zwei: start criticising the spelling, punctuation and grammar of other posters. Ensure, however, when making "corrections" that you yourself make a least one mistake by correcting something that isn't wrong.

10b) Display you're a witty chap by misspelling words on purpose. Make sure you do it in such a way the readers can imagine you sitting back in your chair chuckling at your own posts in self admiration. This is probably the most challenging point in the present MO since if this fails the reader will be left with a very disturbing picture of you choking on some c0ck.

10c) Refuse to use the proper names for places and organisations. Instead use whatever abbreviation sounds cool to come across as if you're in the know. Never ever ever mention Afghanistan in it's entirety, instead call it:

i. Affers

ii. Stan

ii. Ganners

Not every name allows for a cool sounding abbrevation. In that case use the apostrophe to make your point:

i. 'Ra

ii. 'Raq

iii. 'Ran

11) If this doesn’t scare away other posters switch to German all together - if multiple mistakes are pointed out in that language - hurl abuse in an obscure dialect like Swiss German or, as the perceived secure option, move straight on to Italian. Additionally, address people as “mucker” in the above languages. (thanks para_medic)

12) Throw a hissy fit and roll in self pity.

i. Why oh why did I start this thread? Am I surrounded by darkness?

ii. Why did I try to enlighten the community of ARRSE?”

iii. Why does everybody hate me?

13) Finally, make the thread all about yourself. Ignore all comments which contain evidence against your opening post and instead point out how very interesting this whole topic has been so far (or “apparently there is no clear answer to this question...”) as it’s now running into 20 pages.

14) By now the remaining 10% of the diehards have left the building, praying it will collapse burying TS with it. The thread dies of death.

15) Get banned.

16) Reregister under a similar nickname.

17) Get banned yet again for insulting Admin.