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BARBGENIUS (BG) aka CRmeansCeilingReached

Has only been with ARRSE a few days, but in those few days has managed to become a legend. BG is either a natural comedian or a complete and utter twat, current assessments point to the latter.

BG's first post set him up for what was to become (possibly) the fastest growing thread ever on the INT CORPS Forum.

Hi Int types,

I've just done my BARB test and got 67 and they said I can join anything I want to. I originally wanted to join the Royal Logistics Corps, but now I have been told I could join the Intellegence Corps if I want to as they are recruiting like mad and according to him and I quote "will take almost anyone nowadays". But I don't really know what they do, and the recruiting Seargent did not know very much either (but then he was just infantry ha ha).

Please could somebody furnish me with some more information about what Intellegence actually do? Will I be able to drive vehicles? I just don't really want to be stuck in an office being a typist, and that is pretty much what this guy said at the recruiting office.

I don't have a degree or anything but I started doing a degree in film studies but dropped out. Is a degree really necessary for intellegence work? Or is that just to filter people out for undercover duties?

Sorry about all these questions but I went in to the careers office just wanting to be a driver and came out with lots of choices I never really expected. They even said I was bright enough to be a "Redcap", but my dad was in the Pioneers and he says they are all cuntbuckets.

This was later followed by some absolute gems; which, due to my laziness at this time in the afternoon, I will leave for others to quote.

Other quotes from The Book of BARBGENIUS:

"haywood I have seen my fair share of danger and am not worried about personal bravery or anything. The life of a security guard in Manchester can be quite hairy you know. I've probably seen more knives than you have seen staplers."

"anyway rebel why should I stay away from the military? My dad did 22 years in the Pioneer Corps and I was a Warrant Officer in the CCF so I think I know a little bit more about it than you."

"Actually I think you will find that the rank of Cadet Warrant Officer is the equivalent of Warrant Officer 2 in the Regular Army. so who is the idiot now?"

Which was followed up with:

"No obviously I have to start again from the bottom. But my previous service is on record so I will be promoted ahead of people with no military experience."

Another classic:

"I really don't understand your hostility. Obviously none of you can comprehend the training that the CCF provides and I have done this throughout my teens from 11 to 18. So I have a 7 year head start on mongs who have done nothing. So I suggest that those of you on this thread who have done less than 7 years of military activity wind your necks in.

I know I am better than most of the other recruits will be, I have a head start. Obviously I will try to help the others (as long as it does not hold me back) but I know as well that cream rises to the top. That is one of the reasons I thought about the int - because you get your corporal straight after basic training and pass out as seargents after two years. So I will soon be back where I belong and you will be working for me howayman! ha ha"

Is Wedge35 bored again?