Thread: Alternative Mission Verbs

1st Bn The KiddieFiddlers (Gary Glitter's Own) will Interfere with the enemy...

1 Frontiersmen will OutWalt the enemy....

With a view to bringing the Army into line with societal norms of acceptable behaviour, perhaps instead of all this aggressive talk involving things being broken, we could manually relieve the enemy of his/her pent up aggressive tendancies......a job for the RAF Regt perhaps? If this failed we could escalate to disrespecting the enemy and his/her family upbringing.

Spank: "OSG are to SPANK the enemy at grid 123456, in order to... blah"

Originally Posted by EX_STAB

1 Frontiersmen will OutWalt the enemy....

with caubeen in support presumably??

Oh MSR, thank you for reminding me of this thread! A light commissioned ranks only chuckle-maker indeed.

I also noticed, what I failed to pick up on last time around that Gravelbelly made an error. It was in fact a recce patrol NOT a fighting patrol that "saw the badger". Although I believe the patrol commander made it quite clear to me that my role on the patrol was not to conduct a wildlife survey but rather an Engr recce...

The HAC will "buy-out" the enemy, whilst,

The Grenadier Guards "sneer" at them, whilst,

Bde HQ anal-ise how to smash the enemy's OODA loop in, whilst,

The Coldsteam Guards will "muddle" through, whilst at the same time,

The APTC will demonstrate a strong "Flex" in order to set the conditions for,

"annihilation" of any enemy within the AO.

Well, with the real-life additions of CONVINCE, REASSURE and EMPOWER to the list (I kid you not - quite how a CR2 BG would do any reassuring to civpop is beyond me), I suggest the following.

CARESS ...I will caress the insurgent's center of gravity...
SOOTHE ...I will use the QARANC to soothe the angst of the local population...
EMBUGGER ... RE assets will clear IEDs from the route IO2 minimise the EMBUGGER effect on the villagers. (should that be DISEMBUGGER?)

Originally Posted by Proximo

Well, it's certainly better than 'outdrink the enemy'... :D

Been Done...

The King of France's Army will entertain the English army in order to cause sufficient misbehavior for the invasion to be abandoned through embarrassment.

"The King sent the king of England three hundred wagons loaded with the best wine it was possible to find and this supply train almost appeared to be an army as large as the English one. Because there was a truce large numbers of English came to the town and behaved themselves very unwisely, showing little respect for their king since they entered it all armed, in great companies, and if our King had wanted to break his oath never would it have been easier to rout so large a company. Yet he had no other thought but to entertain them well and arrange a sound peace with them to last the rest of his lifetime.

He had ordered two large tables to be set up at the entrance to the gate of the town, one on either side, laden with all kinds of foodstuffs which would make them want to drink the wine, which was the best that could be provided. Men stood by to serve it, and not a drop of water could be seen! ...... There were men who took their bridles and told them they must break a lance there, leading them close to the table where they were entertained in this passage of arms by the delicacies the table offered. They took it all in very good part. When they were in the town, they paid for nothing wherever they went. There were nine or ten taverns fully stocked with everything they needed where they could eat and drink. They asked for whatever they wanted and paid nothing; this lasted for three or four days......we entered a tavern where a hundred and eleven bills had been run up although it was not nine in the morning. The house was full, some were singing, some were sleeping and just plain drunk."

1 Queen's Lastrestort will "KICK IN" the en back doors iot...

Originally Posted by Pteranadon

He had ordered two large tables to be set up at the entrance to the gate of the town, one on either side, laden with all kinds of foodstuffs which would make them want to drink the wine, which was the best that could be provided. Men stood by to serve it, and not a drop of water could be seen!

Selective editing there, you left out the bit..."Ye tables, whereof crispy thinly sliced root vegetables in salt, nuttes roasted whole and dry and the skin of pigges again most saltily garnished might be secured"...is there NOTHING new under the sun?!

Mosley -
verb - to give someone a damned good spanking
noun - a spanking
eg 1st LOAMS will mosley the enemy..
or Ist LOAMS will give the enemy a full mosley...

Overfucked - "One quarter of the armed forces will be overfucked IOT release funding to repair the gaping deficit left by failures in the Government and its banking cohorts"

How about the intelligence services intend to carry out a covert operation against the enemy in order to"premiership" him.

A combined bribery and honeytrap operation designed to degrade his loyalty to his comrades with a combination of too much sex and money.

Come on - how about the "Knock him for six" or "KO" the enemy of olden days? I rather like "inhume" (courtesy of T Pratchett Esq).