Useful

**seanbean** · 08-09-2007, 22:49

New one heard the other day in MOD (referring to the need to cut back): "de-enrich" the programme.

**Cuddles** · 10-09-2007, 17:20

Bluffing cnuts with no confidence in what they have to say are easily recognised by their habit of starting statements they wish you to accept as correct with the expression "In a sense..."

Often this cnut will be an MOD scientist.

**Clausewitz** · 23-04-2008, 16:19

Originally Posted by Proximo

This makes me heave.

Need a term to describe the situation where you haven't budgeted for something crucial - and now you need it?

In a bit of a pickle as you have no spares for that tank/gun/AH?

Then you are having a 'capability holiday'.

Aaaaaaaaaaargh!

Totally agree Proximo.... that phrase makes me want to have a "politeness holiday"

**The_Chodfather** · 12-11-2008, 18:32

I know the thread is a bit old but a quality laugh all the same. Buzzword Bingo is pure quality, here's a couple of my fave bollocks staff speak as spoken on a daily basis by SO2's in my immediate vicinity:

'Gentlemen my gut feeling is we need to be careful and ensure we keep in sight a view of what is the art of the possible' - WTF!!!

'Whilst I wouldn't wish to pour sand in the gearbox' - Aaaarrrrrgggghhhh!

**seaweed** · 12-11-2008, 19:52

Crisp it up chaps.

**hairymonster1006** · 13-11-2008, 00:16

Some vile examples of HQspeak:

Gold plated solutions
Answering the exam question
Socializing the issue
Running a slide rule over the issue
Shooting fish in a barrel
Going around the buoy again
Flash to bang
Bang for buck
Putting sand in your lube
Any use of the term holistic, it has no place in military circles
Constant refernce to 2nd and 3rd order effects by people who have no idea what these are.
Anyone beneath the rank of Lt Col starting a sentence with, "Instinctively I feel..."

My personal favourites are mixed metaphors:
.. the nearest wolf to the canoe and shark/ crocodile to the sledge etc.

For now, my rant is over.

**barbs** · 18-03-2009, 13:52

Hybrid

Usually used by people who have seen it written by a grown up, but can't define it.

**Twizzlelehope** · 18-03-2009, 13:58

Smoke and mirrors.

Ducks in a row.

**udipur** · 21-04-2009, 09:11

Try living with a management consultant who was looking for a new job (role, in her speak).

We were walking down the street and she said that she had to, "place a telephone call to re-engage in dialogue with...". I think she might have meant to call and have a chat.

Of course, I could be trying to boil the ocean with this analysis.

**Dilfor** · 10-05-2009, 15:48

There seems to have been a recent explosion in Pointlessspeak, by people trying to sound modish, but just sounding dickish.

My least faves:

'Sidebar conversations' (the new 'let's take this offline' - you need to stay awake in the jargon game)
'Forward leaning' (helpful/positive)
'Delta' (difference)
'Rolex' (delay)

'Pushback' still refuses to die in the fit of sniggering that ought to herald its demise. And 'takeaway' still hasn't been.