Thread: ARRSE Buzzwords

i almost pissed myself reading these posts but then i farted and followed through

During preparation for a presentation I was going to give to the board of a client company, I had emailed the CEO an outline of the proposed subject matter out of courtesy. His reply stated that the overview was great, but that we would have to 'drill down' into the detail during the meeting itself. He used the phrase again several times during a subsequent 'phone call, and was obviously quite pleased with it.

I'm not sure if he understood the significance of the Black & Decker I produced from the case along with the laptop at the meeting, but his PA did, snorting into her coffee with some gusto. I imagine the CEO had been using his pet-phrase a lot.

That one is quite prevalent since the advent of reporting tools where you can 'drill down' into the data behind the summary shown on your report.

I've joined a new team recently and have been enthralled by 'webification' (sticking something behind a web front end and calling it a new system) and 'taking it round the buoy again' or 'swimming round the buoy'. We work at least fifty miles from the sea and I wouldn't swim in the local river or canal! At least, I think they mean buoy, not boy!

I read a report produced for our directors by consultants at ££££s (bankers rates!)

In this they justified their thought process by frequent use of the term QMOT (Qualitative Market Opportunity Test).

Amusing as I had only invented the "QMOT", after finding, in my first draft of my background memo to them that I was at risk of overusing the word "guess".

My boss has taken to using the phrase "the 1000 foot view". As opposed to the more usual "30,000 foot view", either of which really mean a highly granular view.

I was going to put a smiley on the end, but perhaps not.

Currently annoying the fcuk out of me;

'Going forward' and 'moving forward'.

'Robust'.....especially 'robust'.

This thread is getting a big, any chance we could chunk up the elephant.

Maybe we should invent some, and "throw them into the mix".Like "Positive grunt from the Drill Pig".It might just work...

This thread is being re-invigorated.

The OP wrote

Staff college teaches normal people to talk gibberish, and it succeeds very well.

One member of the current DSD loves; 'across the piece'. It (the phrase) escaped into the Wiltshire countryside and reached the capital. Some MPs and television talking heads co-locate *cough* it with the aforementioned ' going forwards'. AAAAAARRRRRG!

Cascade. It has utility as a verb but somehow its use as such is wank.

Commanding Officer, Heads of Department and galley staff will get the gen dit no shit from the Admiral and 'cascade' it to lesser mortals once the Admiral has fcuked off.

Originally Posted by Seadog

Cascade. It has utility as a verb but somehow its use as such is wank.

Commanding Officer, Heads of Department and galley staff will get the gen dit no shit from the Admiral and 'cascade' it to lesser mortals once the Admiral has fcuked off.

They would of course, all be "stakeholders", less the galley staff who are clearly "steak-holders" and rightly so.

I remember when a Cascades was an annexe of the Royal Marine School of Dancing.

Buzzwords develop organically in my humble

Great thread, but at the end of the day,when push comes to shove, when all is said and done, the bottom line is that you should always avoid cliches like the plague.

This came out in a meeting the other day.

"There will be a lot of activity around this activity"

or work as we English speakers know it.

Especially pleasing as I had picked "activity" as my word in the bullshit bingo contest.

Originally Posted by marco_poloroid

Buzzwords develop organically in my humble

See what you did there...good skills! Are you a facilitator or an enabler by any chance?!