ARmy Rumour SErvice

**BedIn** · 28-11-2010, 14:36

There are many reasons not to be a fatty in the Army, whether you can pass a PFA or not:

A. Professional pride. Fat soldiers are embarrassing. Others should see us as war gods, not fruit evaders.

B. If you're obese you stand physical trauma less well. In essence, you get killed more easily.

C. CASEVACing a man who is 25 stone naked is not fun nor overly easy.

D. Fatties collapse in the heat.

E. It exhibits a lack of self discipline.

I think that above a certain size of clothes you should be issued comedy Billy Bunter clothes, including shorts and a school cap. And a massive bag of sweets.

**Excognito** · 28-11-2010, 14:50

Originally Posted by Charm_City

I wonder if he was the same submersible chubster who was forbidden to wear RN uniform when accompanying CINCFLEET on a visit to a foreign navy?

I don't know, but it wouldn't stretch one's imagination too far to think that might be the case ... certainly not as far as he stretched his white boiler suit.

I did have fun imagining what the rest of crew would do if they were in the same escape compartment as him. OTOH, he might have been OK at getting out, assuming blubber is compressible, but set off WW3 when he breached the surface and got mistaken for a missile Launch. I suppose he must have passed the Tower test to be on board anyway.

**ChickenHeart** · 28-11-2010, 14:52

Ord Sgt, come back, all is forgiven. I have to admit that I was on the floor in stitches after reading your posts, and even after re-reading them they still don't make any sense.

Back to the fatties - every unit has got at least 10 fat, PT-dodging, LOA-bloated seniors who used to run 7 min PFTs in boots, but now can't even run a bath. We must have had one hell of a fit Army in the late eighties.

**Excognito** · 28-11-2010, 15:22

Originally Posted by ChickenHeart

Ord Sgt, come back, all is forgiven. I have to admit that I was on the floor in stitches after reading your posts, and even after re-reading them they still don't make any sense.

Back to the fatties - every unit has got at least 10 fat, PT-dodging, LOA-bloated seniors who used to run 7 min PFTs in boots, but now can't even run a bath. We must have had one hell of a fit Army in the late eighties.

To be fair, and it was the eighties, I had one large (I don't think 'fat' would be fair) Cpl who worked for me who could easily make the time. The course I'd set ended at the unit gates, with 30 yds to stop; failure to stop would result in an encounter of the sixth kind with a rather large skip. I remember watching her powering through the gates, looking at the skip and pitying it. Then I switched into professional engineer mode and regretted not having a few particle detectors to hand to record the energy-mass conversion effects.

As an aside, she was the first person (of about 3 or 4 total in 16 yrs) I gave a Spec Rec to. Also of note is that one of the girls who failed the time was a 19 yr old smoker and thin as a rake; she was very annoyed and much chagrined, as she'd been a school-girl county running champion.

**Bailey** · 28-11-2010, 15:40

I wonder how much the tailor charged for this uniform

**Yeah_Innit_Blud** · 28-11-2010, 16:04

How dare he be so fat.

**Zarathustra** · 28-11-2010, 16:24

Originally Posted by Bailey

I wonder how much the tailor charged for this uniform

Probably not too much, he'd need a "special fit" tunic which has to be ordered specially for him, as would obscenely skinny people and anyone with an odd bod.

I'm guessing he's most likely an MT or QMs warrior. It's disgusting that a SNCO in an infantry regiment could let themselves get that fat. Still at least he's a Coldstreamer.

**tiger stacker** · 28-11-2010, 17:18

A GWAR Guardman's hmmmmmm must be the irn bru in him.

PrinceAlbert · 28-11-2010, 17:45

[QUOTE=BedIn;3515688]
D. Fatties collapse in the heat.
.[/QUOTE]

Yet last longer in the cold, so there is a flip side.

**dinosaur_poo** · 28-11-2010, 18:04

Originally Posted by coxy93

especially the mong with the Bde flash on the wrong arm! And Pte Hope, disgusting hygeine for a chef, hope i never meet him again! Pubic hairs with breakfast anyone?

Maybe things have changed, but last I heard it was not the 'done thing' for crow riflemen to start shouting hygiene accusations about one of his battalion chefs with operational experience, on a forum probably used by more senior members of his own battalion.

As I said, maybe things have changed.