ARmy Rumour SErvice

A pit? You lucky fuckers! We had to make do with a hole, with a dead bird in the bottom of it. We had to make do with taking turns to poke the poor thing with a stick. That was closest we got to haveing a shower!

Having bothered my arse to read the OP's link, I have very serious concerns over the safety of all aspects of electrickery. This is very clearly man-magic and should not be considered lightly.

A quick Risk Assessment of my house identified that I needed to consult my Health and Safety Comittee (I am President, the wife is Secretary and the kids (6 and 2) are reps). An Extra-ordinary meeting was convened and the mitigation of the Hazard presented by Man-magic was discussed. I list the factors which were considered and instigated at my insistance for your perusal and I urge you all to do the same.

All family members (who are not men) are to be fitted with 'earth boots' - Earth boots can be manufactured in your own sheds by attaching a tent peg (or similar) to the heel of your favourite stout walking shoe/ boot with a length of electrical flex or copper wire. The peg (or similar) should be secured into the carpet (or similar) prior to moving the opposite foot). Any persons who are fitted into spaz chariots should be bonded to the spaz chariot and the chariot should be fitted with a drag strip.

All family members (who are not men) are required to bond to each other and earth prior to using man-magic - bonding reels and clips can be salvaged from old UBRE's and TTF's to assist. However a crocodile clip and a length of copper wire is sufficient providing you get a good contact. I would suggest that children use the established earthing point fitted to their mothers (there are two and depending on the version they are usually found between the navel and the chin -some versions are found below the navel and occasionally under the armpits when lying down).

Gingers (3 in my house) are known to have an abnormally high concentration of iron (Fe). (This is why they are rusty.) Iron is conductive and sparks have been known to 'arc' from sockets onto gingers because they act as natural earth points. Industrial strength sellotape (the type that prevents you from getting into presents etc) is place over all sockets when I am not in the house.

All fuses etc are removed from fuse box whenever I leave the house.

In addition to the above (and discussed during Any Other Business) and in cognisance of recent events - the wife has been banned from decanting petrol in the kitchen (next to the man-magic oven). I now insist that she does this activity in the middle of childrens play parks. Play parks round here are fitted with that rubber tarmac stuff so any static electrickery that does try to jump to earth from her ginger head will bounce straight up into the sky and become lightning.

Feel free to include/ discuss these measures in your own H&S committee meetings.

Cheers and that.

Originally Posted by wm1965

I have showered in India with mains power for the safari park passing a half foot above my head (which the shower water passed through).

I was electrocuted (twice) from a shower tap whilst staying at a hotel resort in India.

The fucking third world cess pit.

Anyone just considered supervising your kids?

Perhaps giving them a good hard crack on the hand, with a resounding 'NO', everytime they touch one?

That's what I do/did. My littleone now brings me the plug to insert, if I am in the house I am the 'preferred' installer of plugs. Even Mummy is informed that she must ask daddy if I am in the house...

Originally Posted by Badger_Heed

I was electrocuted (twice) from a shower tap whilst staying at a hotel resort in India.

The fucking third world cess pit.

What, did you enjoy it so much you tried it again? Pervert

Badgerheed - I feel your pain. I really do. I have had a chat with my H&S Committee and we have agreed that India is to fit the plug covers (that Strima hates) to all of it's taps. You should also consider fitting a bonding point to the toilet of any hotel you might be staying in when you next visit the Sub-Continent (the fucking third world non conforming with 17th Ed, Cess pit). Perhaps if our government insisted that our charity handouts were invested in electrical safety rather than immunisation programmes for space rocket pilots, this sort of shit wouldn't happen. Sorry for your pain.

Originally Posted by goatrutar

What, did you enjoy it so much you tried it again? Pervert

Disturbingly, yes I did.

I couldn't quite believe that I'd been electrocuted the first time so I tried once more just to be sure. Luckily for me I'm so fucking awesome I wasn't killed, merely annoyed.