Apocalypse Cow by Michael Logan.

This book is funny and is getting three and a half Mushroomheads. So those among you who have no time for my inane drivel may go and buy the book. Or not. I am trying to give a rats about your decision but it is not really happening for me.

For the rest of you, the important people, my fans…

This is a very funny book cursed by Terry Pratchett. Because it won the Terry Pratchett Award. A cracking award for “stories set on Earth, although it may be an Earth that might have been, or might yet be, one that has gone down a different leg of the famous trousers of time” that hands £20k to a new author. Terry, or Wor Tel as we like to call him, says “Apocalypse Cow made me snort with laughter”. Which one assumes is why it won the award.

Click here to buy from Amazon

Problem is, you read the book that has won the Terry Pratchett Award and you expect Terry Pratchett who, for an old hippy in a dodgy hat, is one of the funniest writers on the planet. A man who can give you a beach / aeroplane book that is warm, funny, smart and offers the odd insight into the human condition. Or in the case of his Discworld books, the inhuman condition. A tough act to follow.

Old hippies aside, this book is worth a look. Initially set in Glasgow it centers around a spooky Government establishment where they are experimenting on Bio-Warfare agents to knack foreigners by stitching up their farm livestock. Nothing much wrong with that you may think whilst wondering why they did not mutate it to work on Scottish persons. But the virus gets out, turning cows and all other non-human, non-bird life forms into flesh eating zombies. Sort of like the Thriller video but without the irritating Michael Jackson poncing about or the dancing birds in shredded clothes. The story rocks along with a bunch of dysfunctional anti-hero’s left to save the day, or at the least say ‘bollocks’ to the day and save themselves. Misfits after my own heart. They are up against a superhuman baddie called Mr. Brown. Well, he’s a bit over done to be honest, all steely-eyed bald heeded dealer of death. But anyone who can call down a bunch of Chinooks in Glasgy at five minutes notice these days counts as superhuman in my book. There are some nice plot twists as the characters evolve through the book and there’s some cracking gore, death, mutilation and death. Why can’t somebody write a book about nice zombies who take tea at the Peebles Hydro?

The author is one to watch for the future and I am sure he will amount to something once he finds an honest job. At the moment he is a journo but none of us are perfect, eh? I’m pretty close but I chipped a nail at the weekend rebuilding a dry stone wall. All in all, a canny, funny book and you can see what made Wor Tel snort down his long white beard.

Three and a half mushroomheads.


Apocalypse Cow by Michael Logan published by Doubleday
Click here to buy from Amazon

3.5 / 5 Mushroom Heads     
Tell people about this ARRSE page!


A quiet boy who likes poetry and buying flowers for his Mum.

Latest posts by TheIronDuke (see all)

A quiet boy who likes poetry and buying flowers for his Mum.

Posted in Books
Tags: , ,

Comment using:

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


eight + = 13

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

Loading Facebook Comments ...
This site uses XenWord.