Parent - Advice and Chat in here - ARCHIVE

**seashellie** · 20-10-2009, 20:40

Originally Posted by wolvesmum

Hi LooseScrew

I certainly felt like I'd been replaced and I must say I was a little upset but proud at the same time.

Since going to the passing in parade on Friday, when I felt such pride, I've had such mixed emotions...glad to have him home, sad that I have to work, proud that he has grown up so much in 6 weeks, anxiety of taking him back on Sunday! I don't know whether I'm coming or going! Does anyone else feel like this?

He said he's not really looking forward to going back to AFC, he won't quit, he's determined to finish the course but wishes he could live at home and still do the job he wants to do. I've been reading the posts of others saying their JS's can't wait to go back and hope that mine isn't the only one who wants to be at home and do the job at the same time? I've reinforced to him how much he wants this, how things will change when he goes back...that he'll have more free time. I think one of the reasons he wants to stay is because he has a girlfriend...I just hope he doesn't end up throwing his career away for her!!!

I thought this week was going to be great and yet I'm really struggling to cope with it all! Am I the only one?

Hi Wolvesmum,

You are not the only one, otherwise what are the rest of us doing on Arrse when our JS's are at home. I thought I wouldn't be on here for a week and I have spent tonight catching up. My JS has been with his friends every night, I work during the day and can only get Friday off, so I feel it's a bit of an anti climax too as I thought I'd get to spend loads of time with him. I keep wanting to asking him loads of questions and he only just seems to be relaxing. He has also got a girlfriend who he has been chasing for months before finally getting together (this week) I too hope he doesn't want to be here more than Harrogate for all the wrong reasons. X

**jellybaby123** · 20-10-2009, 21:03

Originally Posted by seashellie

Originally Posted by wolvesmum

Hi LooseScrew

I certainly felt like I'd been replaced and I must say I was a little upset but proud at the same time.

Since going to the passing in parade on Friday, when I felt such pride, I've had such mixed emotions...glad to have him home, sad that I have to work, proud that he has grown up so much in 6 weeks, anxiety of taking him back on Sunday! I don't know whether I'm coming or going! Does anyone else feel like this?

He said he's not really looking forward to going back to AFC, he won't quit, he's determined to finish the course but wishes he could live at home and still do the job he wants to do. I've been reading the posts of others saying their JS's can't wait to go back and hope that mine isn't the only one who wants to be at home and do the job at the same time? I've reinforced to him how much he wants this, how things will change when he goes back...that he'll have more free time. I think one of the reasons he wants to stay is because he has a girlfriend...I just hope he doesn't end up throwing his career away for her!!!

I thought this week was going to be great and yet I'm really struggling to cope with it all! Am I the only one?

Hi Wolvesmum,

You are not the only one, otherwise what are the rest of us doing on Arrse when our JS's are at home. I thought I wouldn't be on here for a week and I have spent tonight catching up. My JS has been with his friends every night, I work during the day and can only get Friday off, so I feel it's a bit of an anti climax too as I thought I'd get to spend loads of time with him. I keep wanting to asking him loads of questions and he only just seems to be relaxing. He has also got a girlfriend who he has been chasing for months before finally getting together (this week) I too hope he doesn't want to be here more than Harrogate for all the wrong reasons. X

the only way we have managed to pin our js down for two hours with his "family" was a promise of a free meal out tonight ,which went down great but had to drop him off at ANOTHER girls house on the way home,but at least we chatted!!!and we saw him.nice to hear the week hasnt been hunky dorey for a lot of others you seem to think you are the only one ! thank god for this forum ..... enjoy the rest of the week LOL

**greatteacher** · 20-10-2009, 21:32

Originally Posted by jellybaby123

Originally Posted by seashellie

Originally Posted by wolvesmum

Hi LooseScrew

I certainly felt like I'd been replaced and I must say I was a little upset but proud at the same time.

Since going to the passing in parade on Friday, when I felt such pride, I've had such mixed emotions...glad to have him home, sad that I have to work, proud that he has grown up so much in 6 weeks, anxiety of taking him back on Sunday! I don't know whether I'm coming or going! Does anyone else feel like this?

He said he's not really looking forward to going back to AFC, he won't quit, he's determined to finish the course but wishes he could live at home and still do the job he wants to do. I've been reading the posts of others saying their JS's can't wait to go back and hope that mine isn't the only one who wants to be at home and do the job at the same time? I've reinforced to him how much he wants this, how things will change when he goes back...that he'll have more free time. I think one of the reasons he wants to stay is because he has a girlfriend...I just hope he doesn't end up throwing his career away for her!!!

I thought this week was going to be great and yet I'm really struggling to cope with it all! Am I the only one?

Hi Wolvesmum,

You are not the only one, otherwise what are the rest of us doing on Arrse when our JS's are at home. I thought I wouldn't be on here for a week and I have spent tonight catching up. My JS has been with his friends every night, I work during the day and can only get Friday off, so I feel it's a bit of an anti climax too as I thought I'd get to spend loads of time with him. I keep wanting to asking him loads of questions and he only just seems to be relaxing. He has also got a girlfriend who he has been chasing for months before finally getting together (this week) I too hope he doesn't want to be here more than Harrogate for all the wrong reasons. X

the only way we have managed to pin our js down for two hours with his "family" was a promise of a free meal out tonight ,which went down great but had to drop him off at ANOTHER girls house on the way home,but at least we chatted!!!and we saw him.nice to hear the week hasnt been hunky dorey for a lot of others you seem to think you are the only one ! thank god for this forum ..... enjoy the rest of the week LOL

Our son has been exactly the same - we think it is because they just want to be 'free' for a bit and act like other 16 year olds - to be honest our son was usually out and about with friends, on his motorbike/trial/road or traithlon bike or swimming/running etc most of the time before he went away and he has just slotted back into that routine
We wouldn't have it any other way I think they might just want to be kids for a bit
I also think (I think a lot) that this shows they are a credit to us - they know they are safe and secure in the family home -HOW DEEP IS THAT!!?

All said I wouldnt mind a bit of his time lol x x

**LooseScrew** · 20-10-2009, 21:50

Originally Posted by Min11

Originally Posted by LooseScrew

Min 11 said "lmao never thought I'd ever say it but no ta............. "

Go on Min, I'll throw in a fiver!!

Hahahahaha nope sorry, he's being a star so I'll stick with what I have :D

OK, a tenner and that's my final offer! You drive a hard bargain.

**LooseScrew** · 20-10-2009, 21:59

Originally Posted by LooseScrew

Originally Posted by Min11

Originally Posted by LooseScrew

Min 11 said "lmao never thought I'd ever say it but no ta............. "

Go on Min, I'll throw in a fiver!!

Hahahahaha nope sorry, he's being a star so I'll stick with what I have :D

OK, a tenner and that's my final offer! You drive a hard bargain.

Seashellie has offered the same so I'll have to offer more.................how about 1.6 million?.................and that is definitely my final offer!

It's not actually 1.6 million but a £1 Lottery ticket which could just make you 1.6 million tomorrow evening. Now, that has to be a tempting offer!

**LooseScrew** · 20-10-2009, 22:43

So far as our JS's on leave are concerned, it does appear there is a general underlying element of boredom...........it's only to be expected. They have just spent the last 6 weeks in a fully disciplined environment doing things they could only have dreamt about normally. They've been up to their necks in "muck and bullets" and have generally been having a whale of a time. So how can we in our relatively mundane way of lives and surroundings expect to equal that? Not a chance!!
We haven't lost them and never will, they will always know we love them unconditionally and you can be sure they will always love us back, it's just that at 16 they aren't demonstrative.................but they will be,..... give them time!
Whatever happens from here on, all we have to do is to let them know we will always love them no matter what and that we are prepared to stand behind them in whatever they choose to do.
They have made us incredibly proud so far, but be sure there's even better to come.
Don't grieve for a lost one, accept the fact, no matter how difficult it is to do, that the tiny, fragrant pink bundle you held in your arms only yesterday, or so it seems, is now a fully mature and handsome young adult who will one day, put the "great" in Great Britain, and we can all, no matter how difficult it seems, rejoice in that fact.
We as parents can be extremely proud that we have raised our children to have respect for our great Country and its values and to be a very important part of it and its future.

**Rose** · 20-10-2009, 23:06

Hi All,

10 months in with our son in Phase 1 at Harrogate and, yes, every time he comes home we notice changes in him. At first, I have to admit I felt that the Army had taken over my job as parent, and I felt almost redundant. My JS had loads to occupy him 24/7 and I had a big empty gap.

However, I am so proud of the young man he has become over that time and he has become his own man. Yes, his new family is the Army but I have come to realise that it's his other family's support that have kept him going ...... sharing the good times with him, and the not so good times. He will always be my son and he knows that unconditionally he has our love and support, which will enable him to meet the challenges of the years ahead.

Alot of the JS do get bored on leave. I have found mine has outgrown alot of his civvie mates and most of them don't have the kind of money ours have in their bank accounts. Mine is constantly in touch with his Section when on leave and they are already planning to meet up on the journey back, and can't wait!!

It's a huge learning curve for our JS but, as parents, it's also a big learning curve for us too ......... please don't beat yourselves up if you haven't seen as much of your JS as you would have liked, and if they refer to AFC(H) as home .......... it just means you have given them the confidence they need to accept the realities of Phase 1 training and beyond. Be proud of yourselves as well as your JS!!

Some of them, no doubt, will get very homesick when they go back, but again they will get through it and be proud that they did. Just keep on reinforcing the positives ....... how hard they trained to get through selection, how proud they were when they passed and how good it felt to be on the parade square on Passing In.

I hope you have all found some time with your JS and have had a fabulous week and, yes, I'll still have prickly eyes when my JS returns on Sunday to his last half term before Passing Out in December!! Must be alot of dust around our local railway station!!!

Rose xxxxxxxx

**LooseScrew** · 21-10-2009, 04:26

Well said Rose.

**Min11** · 21-10-2009, 06:18

Originally Posted by LooseScrew

Seashellie has offered the same so I'll have to offer more.................how about 1.6 million?.................and that is definitely my final offer!

It's not actually 1.6 million but a £1 Lottery ticket which could just make you 1.6 million tomorrow evening. Now, that has to be a tempting offer!

Hmmmm......well can I wait and see if it wins before I decide?

**LooseScrew** · 21-10-2009, 07:08

Hmmmm......well can I wait and see if it wins before I decide?

No.

**LooseScrew** · 21-10-2009, 07:11

I've thrown out all the clocks in my house as I don't need them anymore. I know that when my JS surfaces, it's 2 o'clock in the afternoon!!
I can't believe his cheek..................he said he can't wait for weekend so he can have an extra hour in bed!!

**louise1307** · 21-10-2009, 07:47

haha you cant blame him loosescrew, because then its back to hard graft for them. glad everyone else on here is the same, only small amounts of time with js, too busy seeing this one and seeing that one, but doesnt that show how proud they are of what they are doing that they want to show and tell all their mates.

we were so proud of our js last friday but also so proud of all the js, as they had all done extremely well in their first 6 weeks.

i have got my js home this week and also his brother who is just back from afghan so it is a lovely (but loud) week here in our house.

**LooseScrew** · 21-10-2009, 08:06

Louise 1307 said...."haha you cant blame him loosescrew, because then its back to hard graft for them."
Actually Louise, I get the distinct impression it isn't hard graft. It would be for you and me but don't forget these kids (and I use that term very loosely!) are now hardened to it, and after only 6 weeks.
They are all bored to death at home and can't wait to get back to AFC to rejoin their buddies and get back to training and excercises, inspections, blockjobs etc.
My JS spent 3 years in the Cadets and he tells me that his life at AFC is "just like being in the Cadets, but now I'm getting paid for it!"
He thinks there may be one lad in his section that won't be returning, it would be a great shame if that were so, but he also said "But it won't be me dad!" He didn't need to tell me that, there's no chance of a DAOR from him I'm happy to say, and I hope that's the same for everyone in the forum.

**medsinman** · 21-10-2009, 09:37

Thanks Tracemac got your info

**saltman147** · 21-10-2009, 11:19

hi would any parents with js at the college since january please be able to tell me which mobile broadband there js took out, i am looking to take a contract out but not sure which provider has the best signal?