Parent - Advice and Chat in here - ARCHIVE

**Rose** · 22-09-2009, 20:49

Hi,

It's hard when you're getting phone calls like this ........ no doubt about it but do try to reinforce all the positives, like how hard they worked to get in, how excited they were after selection, all the training to get the mile and half times down. Also try along the lines of ....... give it until the weekend, next week, etc. My son was convinced he was the only one in his Section to feel this way, until I explained to him that all the others were in some way feeling the same, but were just putting a good face on it. He is in his last term at AFC(H) and he would now tell you that yes they were all in the same boat.

The first six weeks are tough. They're away from everything they know. Although they're starting to make friends, it's not as though they're close yet and the bonding process in their section is still in it's early days. Even ironing and cleaning are strange things their Mums used to do and the tiredness can be overwhelming too!

The good news is ........... It does get better for the JS and parents. Did no-one tell you that your son/daughter joins the Army and so do you? They might be the ones getting tired and cold but you go through it every step of the way! I still have the odd day here of missing my son, but overall I know he's doing something he loves and I am oh so proud of him and all that he has achieved at AFC(H) since January. I will always worry about him because he's my son, whether he's at Harrogate or in Afghan, but that's what we parents do!!

Good luck and hang in there, be positive and upbeat when they phone and remember the tissues when you go to the Passing In Parade. I'm taking a whole box to the Passing Out Parade in December!!!!

Rose xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

**tiamaria** · 22-09-2009, 20:50

hi just heard from my js, said community service was hard work digging and moving soil, best bit was able to go to town after. phones have been taken off them as some js using them when not supposed to. on exercise next week. they have been told they caome home with us until the 25th.

**penny** · 22-09-2009, 21:39

its such a hard 6wks for them. and they r so young, i agree that the tiredness can break them and for such younguns 6wks is such a long time especially at that age its hard to even think about tomorrow, dont forget the army r breaking them down to their lowest and when they got the basic boy they will start building him up, its like breaking in little ponies, keep reminding ur js the reasons\his their and if his home he would have to be starting something new all over again most probably

**penny** · 22-09-2009, 21:46

i am just writing a letter to my js hopefully to get there 4 saturday and ive done all smileys and balloons on it saying "yipee your half way through basic training, wow only 4 days til payday, look around you and see all the ones who have made it thru wiv you, you r a hero" etc etc, im trying to do it as upbeat and positive as i can jus so he can see the light at the end of the tunnel

**penny** · 22-09-2009, 21:58

Rose has sent in some good advice, afc is a big learning curve for parents too, a time really to accept army life and the restraints and constraints, hellos and goodbyes and to experience the overwhelming pride. my eldest son served in afghanistan last year and afc certainly taught me letter writing and living with the constant worry at one stage i was just writing pages of prayers to my son, silly really but it got me through as well

**bacardijo** · 22-09-2009, 22:12

Thanks to all for the advice, in particular Rose!

My husband has just come in and told me to stop worrying!!! He said it's all part of the training! They will give them a hard time! My JS was upset cos a couple of JS's in section and Platoon not pulling their weight and making things a lot harder.

Well I'll sleep better knowing that my husband will speak with him tomorrow night (I'll be at work) and reassure him!

Jo x

**bloody_11th** · 23-09-2009, 06:47

my son has just called me after a couple of hard days his platoon ncos have been beasting them with changing parades then he was screamed at in face saying im getting your daor forms and your signing them.
he doesnt want to leave.
this was the norm 20years ago but wasnt expecting it now gave all the advice how i got through it but am worried

**mumof3** · 23-09-2009, 07:26

Had call from my js last night was just back from exercise and getting kit ready for inspection this morning. Was very tierd but the chattiest I have ever known! Enjoying it but missing family now. He then phone my sister...he has never done that before!!

Really enjoyed the choclate in his ration pack...says its what he is missing the most! Guess thats what he'll want in the car on the way home after passing in. lol.

He said his platoons letters for passing in will be sent out Friday!

Think I to might send a half way letter...any ideas of something I could pop in as a treat they are allowed???

**Madre-Mia** · 23-09-2009, 07:40

Originally Posted by mumof3

Had call from my js last night was just back from exercise and getting kit ready for inspection this morning. Was very tierd but the chattiest I have ever known! Enjoying it but missing family now. He then phone my sister...he has never done that before!!

Really enjoyed the choclate in his ration pack...says its what he is missing the most! Guess thats what he'll want in the car on the way home after passing in. lol.

He said his platoons letters for passing in will be sent out Friday!

Think I to might send a half way letter...any ideas of something I could pop in as a treat they are allowed???

I sent a collage of pics (which i done on picassa), its easier to send on an A4 sheet rather than loads of seperate photos, some army jokes (from internet), small letter from little sister, my family have sent magazines etc., xx

**Fans** · 23-09-2009, 12:13

For all those with JS's that are struggling - my JS passed out of AFC in August & this time last year all we could do when he had a bad day was stay positive & encourage him to stay at least till Passing In - fortunately he was quite bloody minded & although was not always enjoying it! & homesick he was determined to stay (at least till passing in). It is difficult for them to go back after the break, but things do change, quite dramatically - they are allowed out weekends, if not doing anything, go to the shop & buy whatever & they also ordered take-aways to be delivered to the gate! So although my JS wasn't that keen to go back he was intrigued to see how different it would be and it is!!! Unless of course they fail inspection or do something wrong, then privileges are removed again for a couple of days. But definately tell them it will improve enormously after break.

Regarding the trip home, along with taking chocolate you will have to stop at the 1st McD's you see too.....

**mumof3** · 23-09-2009, 12:44

Got my letter about passin parade in post this morning.

JS little brother has made himself a count down clock till JS comes home and has requested a second birthday cake as JS will miss it on Sunday !!

**jaxster** · 23-09-2009, 12:47

Originally Posted by mumof3

Got my letter about passin parade in post this morning.

JS little brother has made himself a count down clock till JS comes home and has requested a second birthday cake as JS will miss it on Sunday !!

Hi there

Does the letter confirm how many can attend...??

**jacksmum67** · 23-09-2009, 13:43

Had my letter this morning, three copies of the same thing, no proforma, and no map as it said was enclosed. I phoned straight away and they faxed the missing paperwork through. You are allowed 4 tickets, parents/guardians and 2 siblings. I explained that Jack has no father (well he does, but we have no contact), and one sibling. they are allowing my sister and brother in law to attend instead. They did stress that is was a maximum of 4 and that his grandparents would not get passes, but for the passing out parade next year we would be allowed up to 7.

**Dawn09** · 23-09-2009, 13:56

hi got my passing in letter today yipeee
we are taking js big sister and little sister with us also plenty of hankies

**manders** · 23-09-2009, 14:03

hi all, not been on for a while, we aint recieved our letter as yet. Think i will be watching through the fence with the binoculors lol. Going to travel down from fife on the thursday tea time then hopefully arrive at harrogate late evening and get booked into a hotel for the nite for an early rise on the friday. I think i will do a countdown clock aswell lol. My js was saying last nite that he didnt realise they were nearly halfway through there 6wks already. All js's are doing very well. xxx