Originally Posted by toryboy

On the plus side, horses smell nice and are comforting to stroke and contrary to popular belief won't kick the shit out of you if you just show them some compassion and understanding.

Are you having a laugh?!
Nordic = "Sheath cleaning my arse, you're going to die no matter what rank you are"
Orion (aka George) = "Fuck you for trying to make go round that grid. You might be a Lance jack, but you're still a crow uptown, this is Kensington high street and you're going to kiss the pavement my son". My first watering order ever, I honestly thought my leg was broken when I hit the floor with that scruffy bastard of a horse landed on top of me!
Sennelager = A horse so bad that 2 Troop invented "The Senny hit list". Murg's managed to get the top spot after only 2 weeks and 5 entries with 2 bites and a kick in under 10 seconds!
Remus = A beast of an animal that got moved to H Div troop after a groom said she would promise it wouldn't attack anyone again! It was that or McDonalds for that horse!

I still have a nice little mark on my back (about 12 years on) from where Virgil bit me before a Windsor escort. A couple of days later he put a lad who ended up in my troop in hospital for 3 days after kicking shit out of him in a stall!

All I'd say is - Watch out for the German horses, nasty fuckers with an attitude from hell. They give no mercy and will fight with anyone. You can usually spot them (In the late 90's) they has "SS" style markingson their hind quaters. Just remember, they are squaddies, even if they are horses and they behave lke squaddies! Which is why there are videos on Youtube of horses shotgunning cans of lager and then crushing the can under their hooves!

That bastard Remus was still in H/Div when I was up town, him and thor next to each other in the stalls always made for an exciting stable night guard!

The horses are much better behaved these days though, although though there's still some cheecky fcukers that will kick/bite as soon as look at you.

Mounted is serious graft with not much time off. And there are some shitcunt horses. You still have immense pride in what you do though. Somehow...

Good line of conversation here now that I've passed/survived Phase one it looks like I'll soon be acquainted with the neds of Knightsbridge after a stint in Bovy I really hope I don't get a kicker.

Who are you calling a ned, crow?

Ned as in Horse Not NED as in Pissed up Glaswegian!

I think you mean nag ;)

Or Ed as in Mr Ed

Mr. Ed The talking horse - YouTube

I was doing the tourist thing in London a few weeks ago and had a quick look in the HCR Museum. One thing that stuck is that in a few places in the museum they seemed to proudly quote that their kit takes 10 hours to prepare...... Screw that!

It is true, but not a proud fact. When you're bouncing guards and you have to clean all your kit, go stag on for 24 hrs then come back and do it all again for a few weeks...! ;)