Originally Posted by longlivethequeen

Do not be so bloody greedy then let some other poor sod have a chance of buying one then.

And that's the bite he was looking for.

This is like pulling fucking teeth

Originally Posted by thegimp

This is like pulling fucking teeth

Good now shut the fuck up and sit back in the chair or the gas you get won't be the laughing kind!

I'm trying to edumicate people here and THERE'S SOMEONE ON THE INTERNET WHO IS WRONG!

...So If I go on benefits can I get multiple mortgages and everyone else to pay for them ?

Originally Posted by DesktopCommando

...So If I go on benefits can I get multiple mortgages and everyone else to pay for them ?

Funny old world. If you can muster the deposits then probably yes. Even now!

Originally Posted by BiscuitsAB

BUT, thats not how you chose to introduce yourself was it?



Thats the first addmission that you are actually here trying to drum up business.

Working in this business does not impy I was "drumming up business"

Where as previously you posted




So a thread gets created with a "Problem" or "issue" by a new member and the you "Pop" up with an explanation of the "Problem" and suggest that there is only one way around it, and then hey presto you're suddenly the provider of the solution.

Congratulations on the most crass piece of attempted marketing I've seen in ages. Here's where you went wrong.

1. You came on here assuming that "Squaddies" are thick.

No I didn't, All I noted was uneducated opinion on funding no slight against anyone, least of all "squaddies"

1.a. You assumed the usage of the term Squaddie in the first place before you even typed it on a page, ie you were thinking "squaddie" with its red top connotations.

2. You assumed that nobody on this board has any experience outside of being a "squaddie"

Again, wrong. I assumed I know more about the subject than most as " I work in the industry"

3. You didn't ask the site owners if you could advertise your business on this board.

Check carefully and you'll note there was no financial inducement to use a service (an advert)


Here are some possible options and solutions.

1. Bugger off and don't come back. (or)

Thanks I'll certainly consider it

2. Ask the site owners if you can advertise your business on here, appologise for being a COCK and offer them a 20% introducer payment on your fees earned from this site. (and)

No, I've no wish to advertise on any site.


3. PM me your contact details as your basic tenant of 3rd party funding May have some merit, however I'd need to do a lot of due diligence before I'd recommend it to a client or to anyone on ARRSE.

Hmm...thats kind of you to suggest what I do for a living may have some merit to you but again I'd decline the offer, if I see someone writing something I know is categorically wrong then theres no harm in me correcting it.

I don't know anyones background, so I was making no statement about inteligence or experience, merely the error.

Its only a guess, but you're very used to being SOLD to hence your natural reaction when you think its happening again.

PMs offering financial deals(or similar) not acceptable, keep it above board please. Ta.


Sent from my iPhone using ARRSE

Originally Posted by jamie4

Ok There are probably hundreds of ways of doing it, either involving a bit of fraud of whatever takes your fancy but the way I've done it is to use a 3rd party investor just to obtain the funding side of it, they hold the property until the credit issue or whatever the problem is gets sorted and then just buy it back off them.

No fraud in that.

That is a fantastic idea. I received an e-mail from a distant relative recently who had the opportunity to buy a property in Lagos at a knock-down price, but had cash-flow problems. He allowed me to buy the property on his behalf, and I will make a 50% profit on it as soon as he sorts out his cash-flow (which might take a little longer than we expected, as he is still in hospital following a nasty car crash). I can't wait till he flies over with my cash, but with his bad leg I'll need to buy him a first-class ticket, and the hospital costs have used up all my savings, so I'll have to get a loan. Does anyone know a good firm to get a loan from, as my bank have turned me down?

Originally Posted by jamie4

Hmm...thats kind of you to suggest what I do for a living may have some merit to you but again I'd decline the offer, if I see someone writing something I know is categorically wrong then theres no harm in me correcting it.

I don't know anyones background, so I was making no statement about inteligence or experience, merely the error.

Its only a guess, but you're very used to being SOLD to hence your natural reaction when you think its happening again.

Bollocks. You'd already Pm'd someone offering your services within 16 mins of their post.

You stated categorically that the "only way around it" is to use the service you later come forward and say you offer. Which again is Bollocks.

Well I was at least open minded enough to admit that I'd consider your proposition despite you spouting Bollocks.

And by dint of the fact that your very first post on ARRSE was in response to the first post of someone else who may or may not be a sock puppet whos only posts were on the 06/06/11 ( ie the OP ) leads me to believe your looking for business. Now there's nothing wrong in drumming up business, but the rules here and certainly good manners would be to ask the site owner if they minded and to offer them a pay away. After all the other advertisers pay for the privilege why shouldn't you?

As for your guess, well my cocks bigger than your cock and I bet I've been in "The Industry" longer than you.

I didnt' PM anyhone my services I explained why I didnt want to put the full details on the board.

I suggested, if you couldn't obtain funding you should use someone who can for you - how is that my service then??

I said, its the only way to do it.

I'm right again, because if you have an exposure or credit issue you will have to use someone else to buy for you there is no other way of achieving it (legally speaking)

Your cock might be bigger than mine, but it wont help you on this subject