Thread: BIG ANNOUNCEMENT IMMINENT

Thursday now. hmmmmmmm.

Return of Sports afternoons? Reinstatement of curry?

Just been sent to me...

Is this it?

Threat Level changes around the world

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588 when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

The Scots raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the Bastards" They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France 's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability. It's not only the French who are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout loudly and excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher
levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose".

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels .

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

Americans meanwhile and as usual are carrying out pre-emptive strikes, on all of their allies, just in case.

And in the southern hemisphere...

New Zealand has also raised its security levels - from "baaa" to "BAAAA!". Due to continuing defence cutbacks (the air force being a squadron of spotty teenagers flying paper aeroplanes and the navy some toy boats in the Prime Minister's bath), New Zealand only has one more level of escalation, which is "I hope Australia will come and rescue us".

Australia , meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be right, mate". Three more escalation levels remain: "Crikey!', "I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend" and "The barbie is cancelled". So far no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level.

I've heard that it's the p7's non-deployable that are getting booted first then once that's done the second wave will happen when people are asked to 'voluntarily' leave, complete with full pension (if served over a certain ammount of time) and an 18 month pay packet??!! yes please, where do i sign!!!!?????


Pretty sure this happened back in the 90's and it went a bit wrong for 'em!!

pmsl!!

Just been told the briefing has been postponed until Thursday 12:00 - If it's meant to be Army wide has anyone else been info'd on a change?

yeah, but we're Thursday 11:00, time zone difference perhaps??

Well the ARRC have theirs at 1200 which is 1100 GMT since the Sgt's wish to have a mess meeting, so they'll find out before everyone else :P

So is it 1200 GMT then?

Cos thats 0500 here!

You couldn't make it up!

Berlin

I am disgusted that this is not being announced on Arrse first, followed by a general discussion on the parade square led by the CO and RSM.

Standards are deffo slipping.

John Wayne Was An Arsehole™©®

mmmmmmmmmm

Originally Posted by fairydust

Does this also mean they will ask individuals that are actually more 'useless' than the D/G personnel to leave, I hope you can see where i am going with this.

Take it you mean lazy people who are 'fit' but have been unable/unwilling to pass a PFT for the last 5 years?

Hope they go first cos they are the lowest of the low,I'm 30 and can easily pass tests why cant some young kids? Idleness is the answer,get rid

Originally Posted by walter_wall

Originally Posted by fairydust

Does this also mean they will ask individuals that are actually more 'useless' than the D/G personnel to leave, I hope you can see where i am going with this.

Take it you mean lazy people who are 'fit' but have been unable/unwilling to pass a PFT for the last 5 years?

Hope they go first cos they are the lowest of the low,I'm 30 and can easily pass tests why cant some young kids? Idleness is the answer,get rid

Totally agree,I'm 37 and go mad when young lads can't pass. I'm not superfit, I just work hard at my fitness. Whatever is decreed at this brief; it must be handled sensibly and managed correctly. Not just a fcuking witch hunt to save money.

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

There is too much scaremongering going on here and I would say it is detrimental to a lot of individuals’ morale (accepting that this is a rumour service).
Nothing is going to come out before Thursday, and I do think that idle speculation whilst amusing for some can be pretty sh!tty or others.
The Army is not mental and would not just give everyone downgraded the boot – if only for the PR disaster it would be. Care of the personnel who have been wounded on ops is fundamental. This forms part of the moral component of fighting power (for those that need a reminder....Moral Component has three fundamental elements: the motivation to achieve the task in hand; leadership from those placed in authority; and sound management of all personnel and resources. Together they produce the will to fight).
I concede that the ‘retain at all costs’ days are gone, but the previous CGS brought the Military Covenant into the public eye. The current CGS is not as daft as to be seen as kicking into touch 100s or 1000s of downgraded soldiers. For years it could Medically Discharge downgraded personnel so if the idea was just to get rid of personnel then the rules already exist.
I have not seen the announcement and perhaps I am as guilty as others for speculating. However rather than come from a doom and gloom perspective perhaps Thu will not be so terrible. Perhaps there will be a more formal structure to the current arrangements for downgraded personnel.
I have no position to protect (I am not downgraded) so please don’t accuse me of that. In fact in 20 odd years of service I have only been downgraded once (I went from P2FE to P7HONNI and back to P2FE in under 6 months) so I am not being soft to downgraded personnel. But during that period (2006) I did witness various degrees of care, rehab and management of the sick/injured. Accepting that things have changed in the past couple of years there is still some way to go. I also witness idle sh!ts that needed the boot. Whilst at Headley I met a few people – nearly all SNCOs in their mid to late 30s who admitted they were holding out for a Medical Discharge as it was better financially!

Why does it take a major announcement to rid the Army of obese, non-deployable wasters?