Originally Posted by long_tall_frenchie

Koschei, your abandonment and rejection is every bit as bad as that visited on me by my real dad at the age of 7.

He didn't fancy having a poof for a sprog either, did he?

Thermal baths? Oh dear god... Well if you insist on taking her somewhere gay then at least try not to open an artery to your bank account on the first minibreak. If you set the bench mark too high then she will expect it in future.

If you change your mind I also know of a secluded and very well appointed dungeon just south of London....

Koschei, that is some amazing beret shaping you have going on there.

Barbarella, that's a good point. There must be a happy middle ground between thermal baths and dungeons, I just can't quite put my finger on it.

Originally Posted by long_tall_frenchie

Koschei, that is some amazing beret shaping you have going on there.

What, no compliments on my rather handsome parrot and fetching neckerchief?

Well if I was going to head out of London for a first minibreak then one of the following might be fun Adventure weekend breaks - adventure holidays in the UK - Time Out London or Luxury weekend breaks - weekend getaways near London - Time Out London

Alas my days of breaking out of London for the weekend are long past, having returned to the Yorkshire fold, but I much preferred shooting or fishing weekends with a house full of friends than having to tolerate the company of some lovesick pup in a grotty hotel.

Originally Posted by long_tall_frenchie

Koschei, your abandonment and rejection is every bit as bad as that visited on me by my real dad at the age of 7.

AHA! Father iss-yews, hence the incipient gayness! Does she wear hats as a matter of routine? If so, she's utterly mental - all madwomen wear hats, but not all hat-wearing women are mental. The plus is that she's a great root, since all mad women are great roots. The minus is that your rabbit is doomed, as are you, and during your first night of passion you shall return from the brasco to find her rocking back and forth and making keening noises.

Only then will you notice her old and new self-harming scars, and the carving knife under the bed. True story.

Good luck.

Originally Posted by Barbarella

Well if I was going to head out of London for a first minibreak then one of the following might be fun Adventure weekend breaks - adventure holidays in the UK - Time Out London or Luxury weekend breaks - weekend getaways near London - Time Out London

Alas my days of breaking out of London for the weekend are long past, having returned to the Yorkshire fold, but I much preferred shooting or fishing weekends with a house full of friends than having to tolerate the company of some lovesick pup in a grotty hotel.

This is a new relationship, if they so much as see the outside of a bedroom all weekend for anything other than scran and a few drinks then he (or she) really is a gayer!

NAAFI-wanker head off, serious head on.

Mate, you’re moving way too fast. You’ve known her, what – a couple of weeks? And already you think you want a relationship with her? You haven’t known this girl long enough to be thinking that way; this early on you shouldn’t even be seeing her more than once or twice a week (or wanting to – desperate, much?) if you don’t want to come across as a drippy, cunt-struck puppy dog.

A weekend away with her is the last thing you need, especially if it was her idea. Believe me, she isn’t suggesting it because she thinks you’re fantastic and she wants to spend every waking hour with you, she’s doing it to see how interested you are, which will rapidly turn into seeing how much she can get away with. You say most of her ex-fellas have been dickheads – I take it that means that you think you’re a nice-guy type. Trust me, women will stay with men who beat them, who cheat on them, who take all their money and spend it on drugs and alcohol, but a guy trying his damndest to be ‘nice’ will send them running for the hills as fast as their little legs can carry them. Be yourself, but in the name of Jesus, Mary, Joseph and all the little leprechauns, don’t be fuckin’ ‘nice’.

I know it’s tempting to dive straight in (fnar), especially if she’s a bit of a looker, but if you do she’s going to decide that you want it a bit too much , lose interest completely and fuck you off at the high port if you’re lucky or start fucking someone else behind your back if you’re not.

Just my two cents’ worth, feel free to disregard completely. Either way, good luck.

NAAFI head back on – now PM me some pictures of her with her growler out, you great big bummer.

bloody hell, if only my gf wasn't so fucking loyal.

if she cheated on me I'd forgive her, rubbing my hands thinking about the freepass to fuck anybody I like.

Originally Posted by Koschei

NAAFI-wanker head off, serious head on.

Mate, you’re moving way too fast. You’ve known her, what – a couple of weeks? And already you think you want a relationship with her? You haven’t known this girl long enough to be thinking that way; this early on you shouldn’t even be seeing her more than once or twice a week (or wanting to – desperate, much?) if you don’t want to come across as a drippy, cunt-struck puppy dog.

A weekend away with her is the last thing you need, especially if it was her idea. Believe me, she isn’t suggesting it because she thinks you’re fantastic and she wants to spend every waking hour with you, she’s doing it to see how interested you are, which will rapidly turn into seeing how much she can get away with. You say most of her ex-fellas have been dickheads – I take it that means that you think you’re a nice-guy type. Trust me, women will stay with men who beat them, who cheat on them, who take all their money and spend it on drugs and alcohol, but a guy trying his damndest to be ‘nice’ will send them running for the hills as fast as their little legs can carry them. Be yourself, but in the name of Jesus, Mary, Joseph and all the little leprechauns, don’t be fuckin’ ‘nice’.
:

Words of wisdom from our neckerchief wearing maven. As a girl I can confirm that being over eager is the biggest turn off - respect flies out the window as soon as a potential suitor shows too much enthusiasm. If you really want to have a lasting relationship with this bird then apply the principles of fly fishing (minus the bit where you smack her over the head and gut her) and reel her in slowly. And for heavens sake make her wait for a shag, if she isn't already doing the same to you. Not too long - just long enough for her to ask and then a little bit longer. It's worth it, believe me...

oh and don't for the love of god tell her you love her for at least 6 months or use the word "special" in relation to any aspect of your relationship...