ARmy Rumour SErvice

**Yeah_Innit_Blud** · 24-02-2011, 21:13

Now, I'm not a bad guy, quite the opposite in fact, I'm fairly decent, but the biggest problem I have with women is the fact I am in the Army.

The moment girls find out I am in the Army, they don't want to know. What is it about guys in the Army that many women (the ones I go for at least) find such a turn off? Are we all cheaters? Do none of us want a long term relationship? Seriously, what is it about the fact that I am a soldier that puts women off so much?

Yes, I know lots of women apparently have a thing for guys in uniform, but in my experience they are all fat mingers who don't actually want to work at all and just want to get MQ and stay at home having babies. (apologies if this is you). But I don't want that. I want an educated girl with a good job, but this seems completely incompatible with Army life.

Am I destined to settle for one of the fat, monstrous wives that I see down the NAAFI or just be completely single for the remaining time I have left in the Army? And don't even start about girls IN the Army. They all fall into one of 3 categories:

1. Lesbian
2. Engaged/Married
3. Scutters

Should I resign to my fate and find myself a typical squaddie wife?

**bitterandtwisted** · 24-02-2011, 21:19

Yes you should. Ron Hills and white stilletos beckon you unless you marry a foriegn bird, avoid dem jormans though, miserable fuckers.

**stacker1** · 24-02-2011, 21:21

Originally Posted by Yeah_Innit_Blud

They all fall into one of 3 categories:

1. Lesbian
2. Engaged/Married
3. Scutters

I fail to see the problem with option 3.

**Yeah_Innit_Blud** · 24-02-2011, 21:24

Originally Posted by bitterandtwisted

Yes you should. Ron Hills and white stilletos beckon you unless you marry a foriegn bird, avoid dem jormans though, miserable fuckers.

Noooo! I know a guy getting married to a tidy Thai chick though. Maybe I should book myself some holiday soon and nab one myself.

Originally Posted by stacker1

I fail to see the problem with option 3.

Maybe, but I'm getting old and there is only so long a single guy of my age is acceptable. Pretty soon I become the old, creepy single dude. I DON'T WANT TO BE THAT GUY!

**ex_donkey_man** · 24-02-2011, 21:27

Originally Posted by bitterandtwisted

Yes you should. Ron Hills and white stilletos beckon you unless you marry a foriegn bird, avoid dem jormans though, miserable fuckers.

You seem to have forgot the regt/squadron T shirt as well!, unless it's cold - hubbies buffalo jacket!

**bigbird67** · 24-02-2011, 21:29

"Who the F* wants a squaddie?"

Nobody...you all smell bad, have beer and fag breath and sweetcorn on the end of your willies! We only go out with you for the cheap vodka in the Mess!

**scuba_angel** · 25-02-2011, 00:17

Originally Posted by bigbird67

"Who the F* wants a squaddie?"

Nobody...you all smell bad, have beer and fag breath and sweetcorn on the end of your willies! We only go out with you for the cheap vodka in the Mess!

Mine wont even take me for a drink, miserable sod - that said he doesn't drink, smoke or seem to have the sweetcorn so I do wonder if he's really a squaddie at all.

YIB the educated girl with a good job can't imagine anything worse than being forced to pack in her good job to follow some bloke to his next posting, where she'll be stuck with a range of job options including baby incubator, supermarket shelf staker or worse NAAFI bird, because her old style of employment wants her to have the same commitment to her job as you do yours and won't employ someone who may well be moving again in a years time.

My advice stick to the scutters, if you find a well educated girl willing to stick with you in a couple of years she'll be one of the fat wives in the mess on the odd nights she can get you to baby sit the numerous sprogs shes had to pass the time.

**The_Snail** · 25-02-2011, 00:22

Originally Posted by scuba_angel

Mine wont even take me for a drink, miserable sod - that said he doesn't drink, smoke or seem to have the sweetcorn so I do wonder if he's really a squaddie at all.

YIB the educated girl with a good job can't imagine anything worse than being forced to pack in her good job to follow some bloke to his next posting, where she'll be stuck with a range of job options including baby incubator, supermarket shelf staker or worse NAAFI bird, because her old style of employment wants her to have the same commitment to her job as you do yours and won't employ someone who may well be moving again in a years time.

My advice stick to the scutters, if you find a well educated girl willing to stick with you in a couple of years she'll be one of the fat wives in the mess on the odd nights she can get you to baby sit the numerous sprogs shes had to pass the time.

My bold. You fibber. He took you out on the 31st July 2009. I was there to witness it (for about the first hour or so).

**I_Even_Disarm_Ducks** · 25-02-2011, 00:22

Or find an artist type? They seem to be capable of bringing intelligent conversation into things and aren't career women in the sense of sticking in one place, they tend to like being moved around... finding a good looking one is a different matter, but you may be harbouring a future female monet/picasso all they have to do is die before you and you'll be minted ;)