Thread: revenge advice..

Originally Posted by lady-fingers

Originally Posted by buttonsin3s

Originally Posted by rebel_with_a_cause

Doing anything whilst she is away is far too soon. Wait 5 maybe 6 years and then strike with a series of well planned and carefully executed "accidents" starting with various family members and culminating with her current partner. That's the way ahead believe me.

Nah, start with her pets, THEN work your way up.

no wonder only hookers and tramps are willing to date you...

I've been turned down by worse

Why not just shag all of her friends and then her mum while she's away and then email her the photos of it all once she gets home with lover boy? :D

Originally Posted by r_gmt

The escort idea is nice, though I probably wouldn't have to pay to get someone pretty to do it. Something for later.

The drugs mules idea, that is definetly more like it. No fly lists, etc etc. I should add that I've procured the address she is going to be staying at in Prague(she's cadging it off my mate!!). Anyone know about nasty b*astard's prague?

But then turning the other cheek, does have it's positives.

Has she had her holiday yet? In Prague you say? Only a couple of hours from me... is she ugly and does she do anál? If no and yes are the respective answers then drop me her address and some photos please.

Your revenge can be of me posting photos of me hanging out of her back doors to her parents.

Originally Posted by r_gmt

So anyone know how I can have the slag added to the no fly list? A bit of backdoor fisting wouldn't go a miss either?

This is wrong and bad. You store up bad Karma and it will come back to bite you on the arrse, trust me.

You need to say you are sorry. Say you are mature and have moved on. Offer the Cake of Conciliation.

Get a recipe for chocolate sponge cake. Do a Google.

Scoop out the middle of both sponge halves then take a shite in the bottom one.

Carefully spread the filling around and over the turd. No air must escape or the bastards will smell it.

Put the top on and look contrite. Sorted.

One last shag with a tabasco covered condom.

Tell her you'd like to talk about it ............


............... just as soon as you get back from your hols with Nichola McIntosh.

Originally Posted by Kirkz

Well as it's money you owed, then it's hers to do with as she wishes :D
Just piss through her letter box while shes away

Milk not piss is what you need to pour through the letter box

Originally Posted by Dread

[is she ugly and does she do anál? If no and yes are the respective answers then drop me her address and some photos please.

If you are just going to sh4g her up the arrse for a hate-fcuk, does it matter if she is ugly or not?

Originally Posted by r_gmt

The escort idea is nice, though I probably wouldn't have to pay to get someone pretty to do it.

So you're not an alternative log in for MSR, then ;)

Originally Posted by arctic_lizzard

If I was in your shoes I would pour ready mix concrete down her drain. It will cost thousands to put right.

I would put glue in her locks- locksmiths upwards of £100 per hour.

I would go to the local exotic pet shop and invest in some nasties to post. You can get a packet of crickets for £2.


But, I am not you. So you should move on and remember that women are like broken rolex watches. Good to look at, but you wouldn't ever want to rely on the cants.

all the best mate

You are a sick, person and need counselling, but gosh they are nasty ideas! :D

Originally Posted by bomb_mac

Forget it, life is too short and no right minded individual would follow up on any of the suggestions you're likely to get on here.

Quite right too, for proper suggestions post in the NAAFI.


Rub raw chillis in the gusset of her knickers.
She will be scratching all day and her new guy wont go near her for fear of catching something.
Then she gets the humiliation of having to visit the clap clinic.

Originally Posted by schweik

Its her money and her life. She can do as she chooses. The advice that you should do nothing is good. Move on. Concentrate on your own life which now has nothing to do with your ex.

Anything that involves you in criminal or quasi criminal behaviour puts you at risk. Wasting the time and resources of the immigration/customs/police is (a) criminal behaviour, and (b) downright stupid - what if they are wasting their time and resources on her while a real drug smuggler/terrorist is slipping through unnoticed?

Causing damage to her home is likewise criminal behaviour, and you will be personally at risk of being fingered for it.

So something perfectly legal must be done. Apparently everybody is a little bisexual, what you need to do is chat up her dad, take him to bed and take photos of you hanging out of his back-door and send them to her registered mail - But to keep it legal put on the outside of the envelope please do not open if you would be offended by photos of your Dad and ex boyfriend showing their fondness of each other.

My Cousin (who is cool but strange) reckons he did this and it was hilarious

Originally Posted by Ursus.Maritimus

Sorry to say, indulging in a spot of revenge whilst momentarily giving you a "high" may lead to regret - especially if she makes a complaint to Plod. FWIW, move on. And hope she has a freak accident whilst she's away (note: accident).

Conficius said: "Before leaving on a mission of revenge, first, dig two graves".

Speaking from personal experience eh?

It's shit, but you sometimes gotta cut your losses. :(

Originally Posted by Ravers

Originally Posted by Ursus.Maritimus

Sorry to say, indulging in a spot of revenge whilst momentarily giving you a "high" may lead to regret - especially if she makes a complaint to Plod. FWIW, move on. And hope she has a freak accident whilst she's away (note: accident).

Conficius said: "Before leaving on a mission of revenge, first, dig two graves".

Speaking from personal experience eh?

Maybe he can get one of his wifes to help him dig them.