ARmy Rumour SErvice

Let's face it, when many of us were fresh faced sprogs eagerly transferring our freshly issued 1157 from various bags and packaging into our lockers many (many) moons ago, most of us were agog at the sheer amount and variety of it, and often told by training staff about how valuable and cutting edge it all was. Fast forwards 12 months and you're in Germany, it's winter and you are so cold that the last time you felt your feet was 3 days ago. So, in no particular order my list of the most hated issue items of the 80's:

1. DPM Waterproofs aka the crisp packet. 5 Mins with these on and you've sweated out more fluid to the inside of them than you would have had in a 30 min rainstorm. Forget even trying to be slightly stealthy in them.

2. Boots Combat High (BCH). Evil footwear with a thousand different ways of doing up the laces all in the belief that it will prevent the permanent crippling of your feet. None seemed to work. Also good for turning your feet to blocks of ice in the winter and having the water resistance of a used teabag. Introduced to meet the shortcomings of the DMS boot after the Falklands conflict it was clearly designed by an Argentinian.

3. Combats. They took all the great features of the 70's issue DPM combats such as jacket linings, good stitching and robustness. Then removed them in favour of flimsy badly made material and pockets that would tear at the slightest snag. And why on earth did I get issued a hood for the 70's version?

4. Thermal underwear. A long sleeved vest and long johns that were rated to provide warmth only on a balmy August afternoon. Any time past October forget it.

5. NI Gloves. Looked alley as hell as long as you didn't mind cold wet hands.

I think I'll stop there, apart from to say that apart from lightweights and jersey heavy wool it was all gash and once I'd been issued with CS95, Pro Boots +random other stuff you get on Winter tours it made me realise just how bad it all was. So my question is this, was there any piece of 80's issue clothing that was useful, well made and fit for purpose, and what planet were you on when you received it?

Kidney pouches on the 58 pattern webbing were awesome - you could get fucking allsorts in them.

Also, I still use issued long johns today - they're perfect for keeping you warm when you're working (admittedly, if you're sat around doing fuck all all day, they won't be very effective.

Erm, army issued sunglasses for comedy value. that's about it really.

DPM waterproofs we called them BiB's - boil in the bag's - good for a sweat on - bad if you were doing cs gas drills