Thread: Misguided Mail

Having just received in the post an unrequested reissue of Regimental Standing Orders (courtesy of an over-eager RHQ dweller, not the current Mrs Ex), I thought I'd ask if anyone else has received anything so singularly pointless whilst on an operational tour?

It is, of course, of comfort to be able to check when I'm permitted to wear a levee sword (whatever that is) and what colour suede ball I should be using if I felt the need to sport breeches (Maxwell No 5 Brown, since you ask), but I'm not convinced it has made me more effective at suppressing the native. Anyone else been party to such abuse of the creaking BFPO system?

During Op Granby I received a china squadron mug. I love jigsaw puzzles!

a 300 page draft 'Deed Of Planning Obligations pursuant to section 106 of the Town and Country Planning Act 1990 and other powers.'

It was send with good intentions, so I always feel a bit bad about binning it straight away, and scrounging last month's FHM instead.

In Bosnia I received instructions on applying for vouchers to Royal Ascot from RHQ. This included rules on who could accompany me - wife or unmarried daughter, and of course a lengthy discourse on dress. Just what I needed in the replen as we seetled down to another freezing night in the OP.

Exrivo

Your regiment sounds dead posh, but what exactly is a 'suede ball'? I'm thinking the sort of thing you give a cat to play with, but don't think that would necessarily set off a pair of breeches that well.

Originally Posted by Exrivofrigido

Having just received in the post an unrequested reissue of Regimental Standing Orders (courtesy of an over-eager RHQ dweller, not the current Mrs Ex), I thought I'd ask if anyone else has received anything so singularly pointless whilst on an operational tour?

It is, of course, of comfort to be able to check when I'm permitted to wear a levee sword (whatever that is) and what colour suede ball I should be using if I felt the need to sport breeches (Maxwell No 5 Brown, since you ask), but I'm not convinced it has made me more effective at suppressing the native. Anyone else been party to such abuse of the creaking BFPO system?

I can only presume they had prior warning of this thread: http://www.arrse.co.uk/cpgn2/Forums/.../t=109321.html

MSR

I received a huge volume of recruiting bumpf inviting me to consider a career in an RLC Specialist TA Unit whilst I was in Iraq. (In the Infantry) A certain amount of digging revealed that my initial joining enquiry on the Army Website some 4 years previously had just been followed up...

Originally Posted by Exrivofrigido

Anyone else been party to such abuse of the creaking BFPO system?

Woah there boy; easy tiger. Your over-eager 'RHQ-dweller' does not equate to creaking of the BFPO system. If anything, it is testament to its high performance. Its comments like that that needlessly give BFPO a bad name. The operational mail system is nothing short of excellent.

In the early days of Bos I got a snotty bluey from a mate whose surname differed from mine by one letter. There he was up to his arrse in snow on a Bos hillside surrounded by waring locals and he had just receive 100 golfballs intended for me and redirected by a mong postie.

Fair do's to him he sent them back to me later.

Despite waiting for a parcel which was posted 4 weeks ago (ok, ok that's what Frau Codename alleges) I have just received last month's mess bill. Which was nice.

I received a Birthday card while in America (Ex purple star) that had appeared to have been posted the day before in Canada. On closer inspection it had taken a year and a day to get to me via Germany, Africa, UK (three times), and finally arrived (on my birthday) in Carolina.

Not the fault of the BFPO system, but of clerks (now HR managers) failing to forward things properly.

A lab tech in the hospital I was at on TELIC 4 received videos of gentlemens' relish through the microscope to do sperm counts from.

I received an entire mailbag full of "Terms and Conditions of Service" booklets whilst in a FOB in the upper Gereshk valley earlier this year. Apparently my predecessor had complained effusively about the lack of mail (a perenial problem for FSTs as they tend to jump from Op to Op).
Our BQMS in Bastion with an abrupt sense of humour decided to ensure that there was plenty of reading material to go around.... Thankfully we'd only been in the place for a week when they arrived, so we all saw the funny side.

My insane mother sent me some feta cheese - no accompanying explanation - that took two weeks to arrive in Kabul by which time it had been through temperature variations from absolute zero to 65 degrees plus. End result was a big ball of gas and goo that Mulder and Scully would have been proud to investigate. Following subsequent 'WTF did you do that for?' type conversation she sent me a fresh apple cake which consequently turned a violent hue of green by the time it arrived!

Slightly off thread but whilst on GRANBY we were surprised and pleased to receive, through the supply chain, 2 x kerosene baths, complete with little roller wheels, and intended for use on hard-standing in a base location.

How we chuckled as wrestled them across the sand and dug the hole in which to bury them (AREA KEYES if I remember rightly). What future historians will make of them I can only surmise.