ARmy Rumour SErvice

My mate was OC's Drv, waiting for OC in car park at HQNI, p!ssing around with his 9mm, pop, puts one through Veh floor and the wires for the secure radio fill, he said two ruperts were walking by, stoped and looked. Got away with it.

Originally Posted by Private_Pike

Following on from Western a member of THEM who shot the end of his finger off firing the MP5 Kurz.

I know of someone who did this, wasnt one of them though and wasnt an ND. Bad drills though perhaps.

RAF Tornado Aircrew on range at Bruggen before Granby decides he's going to try & shoot his Walther PP like a cowboy! So he pulls the gat out of the holster like John Wayne & tries to shoot it like a cowboy! Slide racks back on firing & takes off the flesh & bone between his thumb & pinkie!!
Promptly drops gun with a load scream & BANG!! Cue second round going f*ck knows where!
Best one,while a young SAC I was over the range at Kinloss while the Spaceys (ATC) were using the range on their camp,firing .303 & SLR's.Cue one spacey who could'nt cock the rifle properly so he rests the but on the sandbag,leans on it & pulls back the cocking handle,all the while with the finger on the trigger! BANG!! One round thru the sandbag & into the dirt below.Me phones the boss who runs over & closes the range.Turns out non of the ATC officers were range qualified.From then on the RAF Regiment took all ATC ranges at Kinloss.

deleted.

Some of the lads from the RAF AEOD cell at Wittering were getting rid of some old rocket motors from missiles down some range down in the Wash,Lincolnshire.
Anyway,what you are meant to do is put a lump of PE at each end of the motor & a strip if PE or Detcord down the length to split the casing open.Anyway,the PE & Detcord fell off & the rocket motor was last seen heading out to sea!!

Anyway,I remember hearing a story,dont know if it's true,of a Rupert who wanted to check how alert his men were,so walked up towards the main gate at Palace,I believe,pulled out a gun,turned & was shot by his own men.
Early/Mid 80's I think.

Originally Posted by BlotBangRub

Was there not a Guardsman (Grenadier I think) who shot a player between the eyes from a sanger somewhere in NI and successfully claimed it as an ND?
:D :D :D :D

On the subject of shite drills, I did once have to explain to a guy in my section in the Police that directly towards my back did not constitute a 'safe direction'.

He was also a total throbbing useless cowardly muppet. He is in CID now. Read into that what you will. :D

Auchnacloy PVCP, great shot!

Not strictly the same ammo', but maybe relevant?...slap me if I'm wrong...

London, 2002, Trafalgar Square on a visit. Me and my partner got hungry so visited the local greasy spoon (actually posh as this is London!) but you get the idea.

Well, poisoned me they did. Sent me guts into overdrive and flushed them out, pronto. Now, I'm wearing me usual day out uniform, beige chinos. get the picture?

Not a bog for miles, not the opportunity of emergency action. Just stained, smelly pants. It came on when we'd walked a while, and I had to walk covertly, downwind, a little behind, hoping she don't notice.....

Think i found a hedge, a bog, an alley? nope. Think I stunk, ,yip!

Only when I got to the nearst railway station could I use the bog.

We ended up going home after that, in silence, awkward, awkward silence.

Of course there is the ultimate ND.

Phantom pottering around Germany see a Jaguar pair returning to base. As is the wont of the fast jet jockeys he decides he's going to "get a kill" on the unsuspecting Jaguar. He makes his approach, sets himself up, gets the lock on the lead, presses the tit and thinks "Oh sh1te" as a heat seeker whistles merrilly on it's way. He tries to warn the Jag but has no clue what frequency he's on...

From the Jaguar POV. There's lead coming back from sortie feeling all warm and fuzzy. Getting close to home base, all nice and relaxed when an almighty bang "wakes" him. All the warning lights on the panel come on including engine fire and the sound of engines disappears. Hears No. 2 on the radio telling him he's on fire. Since everything seems to have gone south he makes the only sensible decision remaining and bangs out thus sealing the fate of his kite.

Later same day, sheepish phantom jockey turns up at Hoffisers Mess on the Jaguar station with a case of beer and is promptly banned from said station forever by the station commander.

Bigger toys = bigger f$ck-ups... :D