ARmy Rumour SErvice

**woody** · 18-11-2008, 16:58

My daughters just joined the cadets Royal Marine cadets at that .Come home to find I am now a pongo

.
Fortunatly too small for any gucci clothing and not allowed leathermans till 13 ,but, already I can see the way things are going .Only boots I could find to fit her were timberlands .And I can see myself loseing my head torch etc .

**pull2eject** · 18-11-2008, 17:36

Make sure they get bugged out nice and early in the mornings, with a little bit of training they could have a brew goin and have eaten a whole tin of cheese posessed before the bedford leaves for school. Give them something good inside em by ensuring they are promptly on parade in the mess tent set up in the school playground, generous helpings of range stew will set em up for the rest of the cadre.
remind them before each exam the 7 p's
proper
planning &
preparation
prevents
pi$$
poor
performance
and if they claim they cant manage the 40 mile tab back home from school, tell them "cant means wont and wont means jail"
theres no such thing as an unburst blister

**homicidal_bob** · 19-12-2009, 19:40

My youngest has a toy version of the HK MP5K complete with red dot sight. I taught him room entry and SAA with it. I have also taught him drill and whenever I tell him to do something, he snaps smartly to attention, salutes and shouts YES SIR! He then doubles away to carry out the task he has assigned to him.

I have also been known to inspect is room (while he is at school) and trah it cos he had not made his bed correctly.

**patient_cow** · 19-12-2009, 21:00

I'm calling you guys for advice when I have kids, fantastic, keep up the good work lads :D

**REMEbrat** · 20-12-2009, 13:31

The real problem I'm going to have turning my kids into tiny squaddies is my wife. My Dad was in REME until I was 16, I was all set to join RAF when I was 18 but failed medical (messy story, don't ask!), I still go to cadets as an AI and have a large wardrobe full of greens, DPM, webbing, etc etc.

But my wife...!

As far as she is concerned all current squaddies are Satan's own. She emphases current in order not to upset me or my Dad but I have got to find some way of making her realize that there is nothing wrong with dressing in green and getting dirty.

Any ideas?

**Cuddles** · 21-12-2009, 09:00

Dress her in green, make her feel dirty...that ought to be a good starter for ten.

**kimmi851** · 24-03-2010, 15:04

I am turning my daughter into a good dishonorable techie just like I was. Its working too - for her second birthday I got her a toy fighter jet, and within 5 minutes she was taking it apart and the pilot was in the Naughty Spot.

She runs the risk of becoming a DI though - when she was 18 months she was outside Buck Palace yelling "arms, Shaggy Arms" top volume at the guardsman doing lousy drill.

**Falortah** · 03-04-2010, 22:40

Originally Posted by TheLordFlasheart

The cover stories came next....Secondary school phoned with a similar discipline matter and were confused why miss Flash claimed to be a 'reccy mech who had got lost from the convoy and didnt know nuffing about no spec ops'.

That was classic! I was in knots with that one haha

**crabtastic** · 29-10-2010, 04:18

It would seem that the Swedes share similar sentiments. This is from outside the Royal Palace in Stockholm:

**Canader** · 29-10-2010, 07:24

Following the usual warm up on the swings, slides and monkey bars I can often be found dispatching my stick (aged 2 and 4) off the portable bleachers set up on the rugby field next to the kiddies play area. Feet and knees together, side right, release 4 (year old) etc. Then it's run at high speed down the bleacher seats (longitudinally) and leap into space into PJI-Dad's arms whilst screaming 'AIRBORNE!!!' at top of their young lungs.

Luckily, this tends to frighten away those parents and children who tend to linger too long on the premium bits of park aparatus, allowing the stick to warm down on the large digger and space saucer swing at leisure. Mummy doesn't like it when we call the other kiddies 'Craphats' though, so we have to do that when she's not around or it's the high jump for PJI-Dad.