Some years ago I was trogging up the M1 by car en route from Osnabruck to Sheffield, ex missus in the passenger seat fast asleep with her finger on the map at where we were about an hour ago. She awakes and asks "where are we?" "About 15 minutes from the Leicester turn off," says I. She peers at the map and asks "where?".
Follow the blue line marked M1 up from Leicester and look very closely at the map. You will see a silver Volvo travelling North - thats us" I replied. Silence for several minutes as she minutely examines the map. Finally, "Well I cant see us" she says.

I didn't dare laugh in case I woke our daughter who was asleep in the back.

A few years ago, SWMBO climbed into the car clutching her handbag, mobile and the (new) cordless telephone.

"Oh" said I, "you've accidently picked up the cordless handset".

"No, I'm waiting for an important call" she said.

As my head hit the steering wheel and my body convulsed with mirth, she asked "and what's wrong with you, now?"

She has a degree, too!

Litotes

As posted in the "Google and Baldness" thread.

When I showed the wife the house on googlemaps all she had to say was the hedge needs cutting. This was in january with a foot of snow outside, and the streetview is of the garden last summer.

Originally Posted by buryfc66

Must've been said before surely, but anyway, is it only my misses who can get lost when using a satnav? I shite you not it happened yesterday, fecking unbelievable.

I don't want to kick our northern lasses when they are down, BUT

it isnt just your misses mate. My recently EX managed to get lost several times over the last few years using her sat-nav. Apparently she knows better.....and it wasnt just the sat-nav.....
as i said now EX !

Originally Posted by smudge5611

Originally Posted by buryfc66

Must've been said before surely, but anyway, is it only my misses who can get lost when using a satnav? I shite you not it happened yesterday, fecking unbelievable.

I don't want to kick our northern lasses when they are down, BUT

it isnt just your misses mate. My recently EX managed to get lost several times over the last few years using her sat-nav. Apparently she knows better.....and it wasnt just the sat-nav.....
as i said now EX !

This one is completely true I swear.

Misses went to Perth on a course 600km, 6 hr drive.

On the way back she rang me from half way , said she was at the service station having a cup of coffee as she was tired from the course and all the driving etc for the week she was away. I get a tearful phone call 2 hrs later saying she went the wrong way when coming out of the servo and was now 100km's from Perth and has to turn round and start heading towards home.

This road from Perth to Kalgoorlie is a straight road for 600km's, hard to comprehend in the UK.

Originally Posted by pommydigger

This one is completely true I swear.

Good drills. Getting your retaliation in first.

Originally Posted by mistersoft

Originally Posted by pommydigger

This one is completely true I swear.

Good drills. Getting your retaliation in first.

she normally leaves the satnav on even when on this straight road journey, but turned it off becasue she had an audio book she was listening to. If she had left it on at least it would have been sqwking at her, I bet she now insists on leaving it on for the whole journey again.

Staying on the theme of lost bints.
Mrs hat20 8yrs ago felt the need to re-invent herself and strike out into the real world as an equal.....stupid women!!
So for reasons unknown to man she applied and was accepted to be a bus driver with the local bus coy who not knowing the bint as I do stated that they would train her up and get her the PSV licence etc...subject to interview/tests.
Prior to her final interview she had swotted up on the Highway code and was word perfect on it and was feeling confident of sailing through the interview tests etc proving that 'women were just as good as men blah blah
blah'
It was a confident women who set off full of Gremaine Greer inspired bull sh*t that morning for the bus station ready to take her place in a male dominated world proving women are equals! :D
It was a broken,sobbing,weeping women who phoned three hours later saying that she was lost and could not find the bus station!
It was a howling with laughter and ridicule hat20 who guided the clueless bint back home,who also had to explain to the bus coy rep who phoned to ask where she was as she was late for interview who also displayed less than pc manners by also also p*ssing himself with laughter.
At this point she decided to hang up her driving boots and spare the city from her skills.
I still feed off this whenever the oppurtunity arises.
Women know thy place!!!

Last weekend I was explaining this thread to my Mum and wife, while in the car driving to Windsor. I was saying how someone had managed to get lost using a satnav. The 2 women were deffending their race, saying that it is possible and how both of them had managed it due to the satnav not giving them enough warning that a turning was coming up.

While they were slating me for laughing at them, my wife, who was driving missed a turning. I told her she missed it and they both said see, it is possible because it didn't let them know.

I then explained to them that the satnav told them the turning was coming up 400m before we reached it and how it repeated the warning at 2 and 100m. I explained to them that if the nice lady in the satnav is giving them 400m notice and they miss the turning then they are obviously to stupid to listen to instructions and should never be let out of the house.

It was a very quite journey after that, except for my giggling, every time the satnav told them to turn around, as they had missed another turning.

Whilst not defending drivers who don't listen to the satnav, would the panel like to comment on the (mostly male) lorry drivers who end up stuck in narrow lanes. stranded on hump-backed bridges, or in rivers because they don't apply common sense when the voice tells them to turn down a road which is obviously not suitable for their vehicles?

Or why my local farmer has to put up a sign at the top of his lane saying 'No satnav. Farm Only'? Or why in Worcestershire there's now a sign at the end of a lane leading to a ford which says 'no satnav'?

It can't all be daft wimmin!