ARmy Rumour SErvice

**Cow** · 25-06-2008, 07:24

Misses is traveling to her dads house in Tamworth from Birmingham. She can't grasp the fact that you only need one ticket for the train even though she has to change. She got quite upset when I tried to point it out and stormed off to the ticket bloke and brought one for the first part of the journey. She now intends to buy another one when she changes.

Mong.

**cabbage** · 01-07-2008, 04:14

Ex misses called Donna in the midlands,

Back in the mid nineties when the train drivers were on strike she tells me she agreed with all thier pay demands.

I ask why (she was a cake decorator for fcuks sake)

She explains to me what a difficult job it is steering that big long train on them narrow rails.

**cabbage** · 01-07-2008, 04:16

Same bird after our first night together asks me where i'm from.

I reply "Edinburgh".

She replys "Oh, I thought you said you were Scottish".

Bless her lovely chassis.

**FinalRV** · 01-07-2008, 06:56

My mates girlfriend hid the house keys for her flat outside so we could get in. She then left a note on the front door saying "Keys are under the mat, help yourself to any food in the fridge boys..."

**Funboyfriday** · 01-07-2008, 12:43

ON holiday in turkey, talking about the differance in weather between there and UK and why it is so, she replied in her best condescending voice,
" do you think I'm stupid? are you telling me that that sun up there is the same sun I see back home? I don't think so!!!!!"
you must take in to consideration that this is the woman who, after many clues including a certain chocolate bar, thought that the ship in Mutiny on the Bounty was called the Coconut!!! I kid you not

**msr** · 04-07-2008, 15:28

Not strictly the missus, but she is on arrse ;) and has a degree in Maths and is currently studying for an accountancy qualification:

Her: "Oh wow how did you do that?"
Me: "Do what?"
Her: "Make the screen scroll up and down without using the scroll bar"
Me: "That'll be the up and down arrow keys"

MSR

**hallveg** · 22-07-2008, 13:15

My good lady just did a good un.

Talking about the best place to hide things she piped up with,

"well they say that the best place to hide an elephant is right infront of you"

??????

"I'm sure I would notice an elephant", says I,
"nope", says she, "that's what they say".

Im not sure who they are but there not that bright.

**methilman** · 22-07-2008, 13:25

Not my missus but....

In a bar in USA:

"so where in the UK are you from"

"scotland"

"oh yeh, my brother is in a pipe band from scotland"

"where abouts in scotland?"
.
.
.
.
"Manchester!!"
.
.
.
.
"do you have a phone number for a taxi??"

**3_Peco_Seconds_GO** · 31-07-2008, 08:09

Sometime ago when BT first introduced1p per minutes.

My Gf at the time announces she can speak to me on the phone for £1 per hour.

The last I heard things havn't got better.