ARmy Rumour SErvice

**Legs** · 23-06-2012, 16:39

Originally Posted by Pebbles015

Not strictly for this thread but a complete boneout by a member of the fairer sex.

Chatting with a fellow arrser about arrse crawls and camps on instant messaging.
I asked her if there has been any crawls to Hereford

'No but we did have a camp'

'oh, where was that held'

'I dunno, it had chickens though'

'was it KFC?' I asked

'eh?'

'was the camp held at KFC?'

'I dunno, I'll just go check, give me 2 mins'

Me completely flumoxed, was not expecting her to fall for this throw away comment.
A few mins pass by and she still hasnt twigged.

'Find out if Colonel Sanders organised it'

A few more minutes pass by and she comes back onto chat.

"no I cant find it, it wasnt held at KFC and who is Col Sanders"

She twigged eventually, although not after my ribs nearly broke laughing.

Poor Taboo, Terrified that the chickens will chase her...

**Civvy Scum** · 25-06-2012, 21:27

Approaching a crossroads controlled by traffic lights but with one of those left turn lanes where there's a give way sign. I want to turn left, the lights we are approaching are on red. A quick glance to the right, nothing coming and I start to go through the give way.

SWMBO, displaying a modicum of situational awareness, (which is a modicum more than she normally displays), "THE LIGHTS RED, THE LIGHTS RED!!!!!"

CS, fervently wishing she wouldn't do things like that in heavy traffic and thinking on his feet, "Fear not, oh light of my life. You recall when we were in the US and they had that Right Turn On Red rule at some of their traffic lights? You said is was a good idea and a time saver."

SWMBO, "Oooo, yes."

CS, "Well the government have introduced it over here, but it's obviously Left Turn On Red in the UK 'cos we drive on the other side of the road. Don't you remember seeing it on the news?"

SWMBO, "Errrm, yes, yes I do."

Rest easy fellow ARRSERs, she (fortunately for my car insurance premium) doesn't drive. Although I wonder how many of her mates she'll pass this useful snippet of knowledge on to? Apologies in advance for any damage caused chaps...

**Pebbles015** · 25-06-2012, 21:35

This is 'how bone is you're missus' not 'How bone am I'

**Civvy Scum** · 25-06-2012, 21:56

Originally Posted by Pebbles015

This is 'how bone is you're missus' not 'How bone am I'

How bone is she for falling for it...

**smokerjim** · 26-06-2012, 05:22

Originally Posted by Civvy Scum

How bone is she for falling for it...

How bone are you for telling her something so foolish?...Its a chicken and egg situation.

"If ignorance is bliss, why are so many people pissed off?"
Sent from my HTC Desire S...the only desire I've ever got

**Legs** · 01-07-2012, 22:43

Travelling down the M3 near Aldershot yesterday morning with my OH in the passenger seat. Ahead of us a myriad of flashing amber lights. Soon we come upon a convoy of unladen HETs.

"What are they?" says she, pointing at the massive trucks with their empty trailers.

"They're HETs" says I.

"What're HETs?"

"Can't you work it out?"

"Heavy something Transporters? What is the E for?"

"Can't you guess? What 'E' might be heavy that the Army might need to move around?"

"Elephants?"

Cue one Ford Galaxy swerving as I laugh so much I have tears in my eyes...

**CaptainPlume** · 01-07-2012, 23:04

Originally Posted by Legs

Cue one Ford Galaxy swerving as I laugh so much I have tears in my eyes...

So what was the "E"? Earthmovers?

**sirbhp** · 01-07-2012, 23:28

heavy engineers ? poms perchance.

**Grey_Mafia65** · 09-07-2012, 14:11

Confession:

Sat in pub on Saturday afternoon with a male friend, we saw this woman guiding an elderly man out the door by walking backwards with hold of both his hands and words of encouragement. Cue me calling out "take your top off, he'll follow you then"....

Stunned silence in the pub apart from my friend laughing, shaking his head and saying "Not good chick, not good". Apparently I'd missed the woman saying "Come on Dad, you can do it..."