ARmy Rumour SErvice

**Civvy Scum** · 02-06-2012, 20:36

Not the SWMBO, the daughter, earlier today.

"So when the Queen dies, Charles will get coronated then?"

She's at university. We're all doomed.

**Negligent-Discharge** · 08-06-2012, 20:24

TSO's only on her third glass of Merlot... however on watching "Come Dine With Me" where one of the cooks gave her cat chicken trimmings out came "Do cats really eat raw meat?"... "No, darling. They've been cooking since time immemorial." Cue silence, killer looks and huffiness from her.

**toffeewrapper1** · 08-06-2012, 20:29

Originally Posted by Negligent-Discharge

TSO's only on her third glass of Merlot... however on watching "Come Dine With Me" where one of the cooks gave her cat chicken trimmings out came "Do cats really eat raw meat?"... "No, darling. They've been cooking since time immemorial." Cue silence, killer looks and huffiness from her.

When I see N-D as the last poster on here I just know I'm in for a treat.She class is your lass.

**Nato Standard123** · 08-06-2012, 20:46

...some of many but this is the latest couple.

Feck wittery No1
Saw her pour fairy liquid into the hand wash dispenser by the kitchen sink.

Me: Er, whatcha doing?

Her: It's so the handwash won't run out so quick'

Me: So the washing up liquid does instead?

Her: Blank look.....

Feck wittery No2.

Russia v Czech Rep

Her: That's the Chelski goalie

Me: Yep.

Her: Ooh look there's Frank Lampard.

Me: Mmmn.

**Beans_Boots_n_Brows** · 09-06-2012, 03:49

yeah your missus is a twat

**Negligent-Discharge** · 09-06-2012, 22:09

Please, please help me… Despite TSO holding forth last night on Israel and its nuclear capability (see the thread for some genuine analytical thought from her) she has just come out with a stunner…
Picture the scene: A warmish mid-Summer evening. All is quiet in the close. It’s half time between The Hun and the Portugease in some God forsaken former part of the evil Soviet empire. TSO departs to make a brew whilst ND sneaks out for a smoke with the neighbour.
TSO (for it is She): “I say, time has flown. They’ve just had half-time and the clock shows they’ve played 87 minutes…"
ND: “That’s because you spent ages in the kitchen my rabid dog.”
TSO: “Can’t be! Or has it to do with the time difference in Ukraine?”

Please will someone explain the appearance of a time v. space continuum warp in Surrey that just appeared or is she just plain barking? I have noticed on the “How Bone..” post how many of us have partners with BAs, Doctorates and, clearly, brilliant minds, but why can’t time be part of the equation or a simple understanding of the off-side rule be beyond them?

**Gaz_SWVOC** · 10-06-2012, 16:57

Watching rugby with a mate and his mrs last year, she piped up and said;

"Those shirts aren't very good, the blue from the O2 logo is running right down the side"

Had nothing to do with the fucking great blue RBS logo painted on the pitch

**Negligent-Discharge** · 10-06-2012, 18:31

If anyone remembers the Giles cartoons ca 1966 and the Gran, well that's TSO watching the Euro footie. Apparently, the Eyetie who scored was castrated the last time he played and missed an open goal. She's not dangerous yet as she's only on the third glass of Merlot, so I pointed out that she meant "castigated".... and silence reigned... and no chance of some "dessert" for me tonight.