ARmy Rumour SErvice

**GoodIdeaAtTheTime** · 20-06-2011, 23:08

Originally Posted by Negligent-Discharge

Actually, if anyone has pictures of people getting up their goats I will pay handsomely.

Call me Mr Freebie: you might want to google "taliban goat night vision"

**armybrat1** · 21-06-2011, 09:32

A friend of mine whilst eating out on holiday:

"These Buffalo wings are yummy. But I didn't realise Buffallo's had wings??"

Perfect

**hector** · 29-06-2011, 15:11

Mrs Hector and I fitting Flea collars to her moggies, says she"How do these work then ,cos some of the fleas are down by it''''s arse?" Deep breath.responds I " Well the collar has to be reasonably tight so that when the flea's travel up the neck they rub their backs agaist it". "How," sharp as a button she reposts, "do they know the little feckers will go up the necks?." "Well," says I " they all have to drink from the corner of the animals eye's every day or they would die of dehydration, wouldn't they." Mrs Hector" Oh yeah, you wouldnt think of that really". Told all her family, who believed it too, very difficult to retract.!!

**Negligent-Discharge** · 02-07-2011, 09:05

The Scarey One said this morning "I have to do something... what is it?"... I suggested a BJ to which she replied "Oh, yeah, I need to call my brother." I'm rather concerned....

**Vodka&Coke** · 04-07-2011, 15:01

Me:"sucking left breast"
Her: suck the other one now its feeling left out !

In reply to a question of where one has been on holiday.

Daughter: i went abroad this year.
Me : (in total shock) oh yeah where ?
Daughter: Southampton !!

**PeacePhlapps** · 04-07-2011, 16:38

My Mrs doesn't drink any more (fortunately) so can't even blame alcohol for this pricesless remark on holiday last week. Sat by the beach on the 2nd day she asks out of nowhere "So are we in the Greek or Turkish bit of Cyprus?" - the problem being we were staying on the Turkish mainland in Icmeler.

**Negligent-Discharge** · 08-07-2011, 12:00

Originally Posted by PeacePhlapps

My Mrs doesn't drink any more (fortunately) so can't even blame alcohol for this pricesless remark on holiday last week. Sat by the beach on the 2nd day she asks out of nowhere "So are we in the Greek or Turkish bit of Cyprus?" - the problem being we were staying on the Turkish mainland in Icmeler.

The Auld-Yin met The Scarey One the other week and, I'm sure, he found her charming.... however, she's up to her old tricks. Looking glamorous and elegant she went out this morning.... shoes would help! Sheepish knock at the door.

**ironrations** · 08-07-2011, 13:53

Originally Posted by armybrat1

A friend of mine whilst eating out on holiday:

"These Buffalo wings are yummy. But I didn't realise Buffallo's had wings??"

Perfect

Calling bullshit on that. You got it off Jessica Simpson on MTV.

**B_AND_T** · 08-07-2011, 13:57

Mrs B&T said to me the other day "But I thought you loved me"

I had to laugh because only a couple of minutes before that I had told her to "fuck off out off the house and my life and don't come back"

Silly bitch.

**grimbo** · 08-07-2011, 22:55

was out in the garden tonight and Mrs shout's " your mobiles ringing " ... rush in doors and sure enough its ringing .... just as I get to it the phone rings off ..... Mrs is standing in the conservatory with the walkaround house phone ( not unusual ) .... when I looked at the missed call its "home" , I looked at the Mrs and said "it was you calling me".... blank look from her and then a silly grin as she looks at the phone in her hand.... "Oh I thought I was phoning @@@@ ( our daughter )....
Think an upgrade may be in order ...... like a phone her memorys getting iffy and her battery seems to be not holding its charge like it used to.