- 25-06-2012, 18:58 #501
- Join Date
- Jun 2012
That sounds very familiar.
If there are no questions then I have some for you...
Heard on every course I have ever been on
- 25-06-2012, 19:09 #502
"I'm sick of sprog tech cunts who think they can walk round the place like they're some sort of war hero when all they do is sit behind a desk all day, answering the fucking phone, in 'Ghan', utter fucking cunts"
Thats one of my own that isQRM - 5
Sent from my DII account cos I'm too busy skiving
- 02-08-2012, 19:00 #503
On witnessing an appalling lack of marksmanship, either or both of:-
Look at that group, like a mad woman's shite!
What are you going to do when an effing great Russian comes over the hill in front with a big stick in one hand and a half-eaten baby in the other?I have a theory that, while the battles the British fight may differ in the widest possible way, they have invariably two common characteristics - they are fought uphill and always at the junction of two or more map sheets.
Field Marshal Sir William Slim, Unofficial History
Every man thinks meanly of himself for not having been a soldier...
- 02-08-2012, 21:11 #504
- Join Date
- May 2008
Me & a few others just back from R&R after a spell 'abroad' are detailed to act as escort for ammunition to ranges.
On the ranges are the rest of the squadron.
We war veterans sit around and fill mags for something to do.
Targets go up at 300m. Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang
No targets fall. Targets lowered.
Targets go up at 200m. Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang
Two targets fall. Rest of targets lowered.
Targets go up at 100m. Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang
Maybe three or four targets hit. Rest of targets lowered.
Me (Shouting out loud) "Fix bayonets"I used to lead retreats, mate!
- 12-08-2012, 22:17 #505
"we can stay here all night, i don't care my wife hates me anyway"!!
"did your mother have any kid's that lived"???
Drill bloke, welly bks after seeing one of the bods spit on the ground; "thats the best bit of you on the deck wankstain"!!
"Don't just stroll along with yer hands behind yer back like prince fuckin' Charles, pick the fuckin dogends up!!"Erect and square to the front!!!
- 15-08-2012, 19:37 #506
"What we doing tomorrow, Corporal?"
.. in the fookin' wimmin pool.."
Chunky Chambers, 1 LI, John Moore Barracks about 100000 years ago.Bravo Bravo sets himself a depressingly low standard which he consistently fails to achieve.
- 22-08-2012, 11:44 #507
Sgt: Oi! Split-arrse! How do I like my coffee?
Moi: *sigh* Black and bitter like your men, Sgt.
Sgt: And my women? How do I like them?
Moi: On their backs, legs open, bacon sarnie prepped to go, Sgt.
Sgt: Well remembered, Doris..... shame you don't make either grade.Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the feck is the ceiling.... ?
- 23-08-2012, 10:54 #508
Emsdorf and Victory!
- Join Date
- Dec 2005
- South coast
Drive me closer!
I want to hit them with my sword!
(The avatar works better if you can read the bottom line. See gallery:
- 23-08-2012, 12:44 #509
Sgt Big Ugly Paddy in 11 Sigs all those years ago, "When I say 'Shit' you will all ask 'How much and what colour Sergeant?'"
Same fella, "You (in that strange high pitch) yes, fucking you. Why are you looking at me? Do you fancy me? Do you want to fuck me?"
Stunned sprog "No, Sergeant"
Sergeant "Why not, am I fucking ugly? Are youse calling me ugly? You fucking are aren't you? Fucking take him away Corporal"....cue blurry feet heading to the guardroom.I used to think that the brain was the most wonderful organ in my body. Then I realized who was telling me this.
- 24-09-2012, 18:00 #510
- Join Date
- Apr 2009
At the end of the day.....it's night time.
How can you be so ugly with only one head?
Only another 4k to go.
Double away Lofty
Lofty off Doubly
To the top of the ropes.....climb!
On your spots....cover!
You've had more time off than the ships cat.
Swipe your hand away from the rifle, like your swiping a bee away from your bell end.