It has just been released that Hammy the Hamster of Tales of the Riverbank fame has been persuaded out of retirement to play an important and pivotal role in the new blockbuster film Possible Mission 4. Hammy was first seen in 1959 and was reluctant to give his age but said this was a chance to work alongside Vicky Entwistle who he had admired since her arrival on Coronation Street. When asked about Tim Cruise he was heard to say "Who?" but intends to use all his acting experience in the new role and maybe take some of the lesser experienced actors under his paw.

His fee for the film was reputed to be six figures but apart from replacing a squeaking wheel, he said he does not intend to change his lifestyle. He is currently undergoing a rigorous fitness regime as the role demands licking areas he freely admits, he hasn't seen for a few years. The film is due to premiere at the Tidworth Odeeon on April 1st 2008 and go straight to DVD the following day. Advance copies available from S. Murphy, Honest Farmer's Farm, South Armagh, Northern Ireland.

My congratulations Mistersoft what a fantastic read. As for copying off the RJG, there are some similarities,but your story is by far funnier.Anyway don't the RGJ dig shell scrapes for their one night stands to get some perminant rest in.

Well Stuart Little is too charming, Gordon the Gopher though irritating is too cute, Roland Rat might fit the bill more but again is probably too nice. I was actually thinking more along the lines of John Prescott or any other annoying insignificant runt that could be digitally shrunk but then that would rule out any audience sympathy and gunning for the underdog (other than for real with a machine gun...)

Thanks Space Cadet, I'm glad you're reading the other one as well, don't want any conspiracy theories starting that I'm luring people away from a convenient shallow hole in the ground and it's literary offerings.

Dolly, I'm just about to get some scran. John Prescott licking his testicles even if they have been digitally shrunk, remastered or enhanced with CGI has just turned my stomach. Please never ever go down that road again.

er. just a doggon minute here! McNabb (pen name) was a Greenjob u irreverent twonkletwats!

Originally Posted by Scorrpy

er. just a doggon minute here! McNabb (pen name) was a Greenjob u irreverent twonkletwats!

That's me Scorrpy, guilty as charged.

Given Rickshaw's apparent priapism (Have we met?) you might want to consider casting a Bailey Bridge in the part?

I was going more along the lines of a femme fatale with Rab C meeting Mata Hamster, a seductive Dutch hamster that finally stops him licking his testicles or maybe not. I hope Rickshaw approves of Rikshaw's permanent erection, you said you wanted a past but I've given you plenty of front.

How about that gopher from 'CaddyShack'?? I think its suitable nutty; and looks like it has a nasty bite!
SR10

If you get Rik Mayall & Adrian Edmonson, ask them to have a quiet word with SPG to play Rab C. Sure he hasn't done much since The
Young Ones & would jump at the chance!