Useful

**fruitbat119** · 02-04-2007, 13:23

removed

**stabandswat** · 04-04-2007, 10:46

"You NUMPTY!!! The only army you belong in is the Salvation Army!!!"

**fruitbat119** · 05-04-2007, 05:11

hmm original...
realised the errors of my way for putting a sh$£" post on.

**IntChick** · 13-04-2007, 15:15

Bloke on tour talking about discovering the lack of a bikini wax

"There's no excuse for bad box admin."

In training, I coughed on the drill square 'cos I had a frog in my throat; got show parade showing 'Frog removed from Throat'

**Angus_McCoatup** · 16-04-2007, 16:24

Sargeant Major to me when he found out I was 'walking out' with his daughter :-

Sargeant Major :"Sapper McCoatup, what steps will you take if you get my daughter pregnant ?"
Me : "Fuckin' great big ones, sir !"
Sargeant Major :"GUARDROOM !!!!"

and just before demob :-
Sargeant Major :" What will you do when you leave the army?"
Me :" cartwheels past the Guardroom, sir !"

I'll get me coat - - -

**Jacob** · 16-04-2007, 16:38

If thats the best you can all come up with just stick to the rule of thumb "keep it simple stupid!"

**Angus_McCoatup** · 16-04-2007, 17:53

how about " Cant Understand New Technology" ???

**Brent** · 19-04-2007, 13:56

[quote="jarrovian99"]heard a mate refering to someone who was not too bright as being
"as thick as a castle wall"

How about "As thick as a whale omlet"

**shiny** · 20-04-2007, 15:46

She has a face like a bulldog licking piss off a stinging nettle.

I wouldn't piss on him if he was on fire and I could piss paraffin.

About as much use as a water soluble fish.

A face like someone had covered it in petrol, lit it and put the fire out with a shovel.