ARmy Rumour SErvice

FANTASTIC!

have just spent a large part of my leave reading this thread and time well spent it was.

I never knew that you got walts of that magnitude.
has this thread gone to the best of bit yet?

it gets my vote.

Who here has got a posh-sounding English voice? Phone him up and say the the Para Regt Association have complained about lack of Copyright identification on his web page, and that you, as the legal advisor, wish to issue him with a summons........ and could you please have the correct address to send it to :D Lets see how quickly he flaps! A second caller could then be the Data Protection Officer from Catterick, questioning the content of the letter he so wisely produced... small mention of unathorised release of Dept correspondence still falls under the Official Secrets Act 1911 (as amended) [crown copyright];), does it not?

Ghost

Why not just contact Three Para Mortars to go and 'PLAY' with him and make sure they tape it so we can all here him squeal when he gets 'done'.

HEY LADS, FIRST AND FOREMOST I APOLOGISE FOR ALL THIS IN CAPITALS, BUT MY KEYBOAD IS KNACKERED, BUT ANYHOW...LISTEN IN.

EARLIER ON I DECIDED TO LEAVE THIS LITTLE PRICK A MESSAGE ON HIS FACEPARTY ACCOUNT AND BEHOLD,.....READ THE ANSWER THIS MORON REPLIED WITH.......

well mate chav thats new well yea i like burb mayb coz i got the money to spend now if im a fake then y duz it say on my site a letr hand writen from admin sayin i am and how the fuk i got a army num if i aint in the army coz ur mate seem to think i am then i aint then he got my army num and no mate just u and sum next guy keep emailin me well u 24 u look like 17 mate well being a crap hat wot can i say i aint got a clue how too proove to u cunt that i am tellin the truth so lets tell u sumthing that only a para would know!!!
paras are lil jedi's we have to do a min of 8 jumps a year 7 day 1 nite we get the chance to do are hala jump that very high if u didnt know well the only reg well one of the only reg that dont have to wer a shitty peak on the drill square we dont bull are boots we train up in catterick we do 16weeks which is more than u lot 2para is pare of a brigade that is formed at meani barrecks in colchester where the glass house is by 2007 1 2 and 3 para will b based in colchester were the only reg that have the mini-me up in catterick so im told the brigade OC is mr page rank u dont need to know plus were the only reg where we march with a swager so wot more u want to know then i aint got a clue who u been chatin to probs that old man from the stupid army site but lets get one thin i am para so u tell ur para mate not like u have any coz we all hate u to get me coz it will b fun any way cya latr crap hat u idol cunt
love pte goldenxxxx
oh by the way utrinque paratus



JESUS CHRIST : - WHY CANT THIS PENIS EVEN SPEAK CORRECTLY?

SECONDLY, DID ANYONE GET THIS TW@TS EMAIL ADDRESS?, IF SO POST IT ON HERE, AND I WILL PERSONALLY ENSURE HIS WEBSITE ADDRESS RECEIVES NOTHING BUT HARDCORE GAY BUMMER PORN FOR THE REST OF ITS WORTHLESS DAYS.
WHAT A WASTE OF A GOOD AR$EHOLE THIS BLOKE REALLY IS.

JUST SENT HIM THIS REPLY....................CANT WAIT FOR HIS!!!!

AGAIN, YOU ARE QUITE POSSIBLY THE MOST STUPID CNUT IN THE WHOLE WORLD. HOW ON GODS EARTH DID YOU EVER BELIVE THAT ANYONE WAS GOING TO TAKE YOU SERIOUSLY??, DID YOU HONESTLY THINK THAT YOU WOULD NEVER BE FOUND OUT?, I KNOW YOU GOT F+CKED OFF FROM THE ARMY DURING PHASE TWO TRAINING BECAUSE I HAVE SEEN YOUR DISCHARGE PAPERS YOU SAD $HIT, WAS IT BECAUSE OF TAKING DRUGS? HMMMM?
LOVE THE BURBERRY BY THE WAY.......BUT DOESNT IT HURT YOUR C0CK WEARING THAT CHAV HEAD DRESS ALL THE TIME?
PERSONALLY IF I WERE YOU, I WOULD BURST THE PITYFULL BUBBLE THAT YOU ARE LIVING IN AT THE MOMENT, YOU KNOW?, THE ONE WHERE YOU WHOLE HEARTEDLY BELIVE THAT YOU ARE A PARATROOPER, AND ENROLL A TW@T COLLEGE.
AT LEAST THERE THEY WILL GIVE YOU SOME FORM OF REMEDIAL EDUCATION, WHICH IN TURN, WILL ALLOW YOU TO STRING TOGETHER THE MOST BASIC FORM OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE IN THE CORRECT ORDER.

WORDS.

AT PRESENT I WOULDN'T LET YOU LOOSE WITH A REAL KNIFE AND FORK, LET ALONE AN ASSAULT RIFLE, MIND YOU YOU HAVE FILLED THAT GAP IN YOUR FANTASY HAVEN'T YOU?, BY SUBSTITUTING REAL WEAPONS OF WAR WITH TWO W@NK AIR RIFLES AND A GAY SWORD.
TELL YOU WHAT, WITH AN ARSENAL LIKE THAT, WHAT ARE WE WASTING OUR TIME FOR IN IRAQ?
ANYHOW ILL LEAVE YOU TO CARRY ON NECKING YOUR 14 YEAR OLD STARRY EYED SLAG.......

REGARDS,

OH AND BY THE WAY, BET YOU COULDNT EVEN BANG ONE OUT, LET ALONE KNOCK SOMEONE OUT, ....LOOK FORWARD TO YOU WELL STRUCTURED REPLY............. YOU DOLT.

i have to say i was so board tonight then i started to read this iv been in fits of laughter for hours it just get better as ya go through. iv just asked my spanish friend to av a go at getting his pass word:
will let you know right away if she has sucsess,
This twat is care in the community with out a doubt he needs to be committed
Can’t help but wonder if he has been to any of the local army cadet forces or TA centres trying to join, but failed the recruiting intake

Any one out there know him? must be someone who knows where he is ?

Come on name and shame

I think we need to email him, or at least host his discharge details somewhere...

any takers?

Although its probably illegal :(

I cannot believe that this thread has gone on for so long..

Sadly, for me, this is no longer funny..It is, instead distrubing and disconcerting that Pte. Golden [ ret.] continues to hold the belief that he is a functioning member of the Paras when all evidence points to his being dismissed with cause [ if for no other reason than he is functionally illiterate and incapable of stringing two coherent words together - the military has some standards after all ].

Still, I find myself with a grudging admiration for the lad who, despite all adversity and the groundswell of approbation against him, insists on clinging to his belief that he is ' blessed ' by HM Government and desires to serve Queen and country by ' slotting ragheads ', as it were..and who seeks not fame, nor glory, but only a shag now and then....

While I am too far away to offer any personal guidence, I cannot believe thast the 11000+ members of ARRSE can't find it in their hearts to grant this young fellow his heart's desire and find a way to send him to downtown Baghdad armed with his air rifle and his He-Man, Master of the Universe, Walmart Samurai sword. I feel confident that the Sunni Insurgents would be more than helpful in providing him with a real-time, interactive non-simulation opportunity to put his [ what was it? ] 8 weeks of commando training to practical use by presenting him with all manner of tactics and countermeasures to test his mettle.. I'm sure that the interrogation techniques, alone, would provide him with an opportunity to show just how ' ard he really is.

A brief whip round the NAAFI with each man throwing in just One Pound [ or equivilent ] would be enough to buy him a one way ticket to Iraq, and a delegation from this site would be more than pleased to squire him to the aeroport and see him properly off to his destination....

Oh, and while he's gone, I'll be more than happy to look after his ' land of the giants' TV...