The ultimate stupid thread!!!!!

[Thebull140]

bull you seem to recall those details very well ! was it you??

Me, a fine technician in the royal corps of signals, commiting such an incredible act of stupidity, with my reputation.

[ironrations]

OP Agricola, TN015, our first day in Macedonia and we were headed up into the mountains to establish our location. As per SOP's we stopped short and began to patrol into the loc.

Cue a massive bang as the lead relay rolls back and picking up momentum heads down the hill, bang, it hits a PV and the two of them head down the hill, bang, the pair of them hit a GS Bedford with about 15 people in it and the convoy carrries on down the hill.

Relay ops are grabbing the mudguards and bodies are pouring out of the GS as hals of the node assets dissappear down the mountain. Best thing was the Sqn OC(230) was stood watching the whole thing mouth open!

[JuniorBod]

Thought it was earlier than that. I was in Krefeld 94- 96 and seem to recall the slight kerfuffle this caused.

[polar69]

Hmmm , funny how its all relay related stupidyness

My 10 cents , notwithstanding the stories about siggys dropping half erected scam12's etc.

A long time ago I had the good fortune to be a tea boy in the Raf. I was an Air Defence Electronics Mechanic in the ground enviroment radar world. Basically a brew bitch on the way up. My first posting was a wonderful US / UK conglomeration manufactured by Plessey and ITT and in the main broken bastardised and occasionally serviced by us. It was a modern digital mobile radar called the T93 , now defunct for various reasons , one of which will shortly become obvious. There were only 6 of these beautys ever made in this varient , a factor that allowed someone somewhere to make an awful lot of money for his pension fund.


Anyway, in about 89/ 90 after we had deployed 6 times around the airfield at Ousten and camped out like glorified boy scouts our leader decided we should bite the bullet and do a "real" deployment. Give him his due it wasn't a complete fuck around and consisted of us training for a week with some infantry chaps from Kent and then in the second week deploying through Keilder forest at walking pace been looked after by said squaddies.

So a week of live firing , playing with 88mil CG's and abusing the hell out of STABS , it were grand. Long story short we drove around on some proper roads for a bit then went off down some chalk forest track. One generator, a display cabin , on comms cabin a transmitter cabin and the radar head. To be fair we didnt do too badly, okay yes we did roll a fuel bowser and yes every strijke by the RAF jags was spot on and everyone would have been dead but that wasn't the worst bit.

That was too come.

To play it safe the boss decided that the radar head should be last in the convoy, this was a good idea as it was big and pricey, well that went in the ditch first.

Next to go was the tx cabin , imagine a "one of 6 ever made" bit of kit pulled by a scammel on a drawbar trailer basically a big iso container on wheels which weighed in the region of 10 tonnes at least. Pricey huh ! Now imagine the intelligence of a man who, on learning that the forsetry commision only rated the road at 5 tonnes if that, then decides to take what amounted to a multi million pound contract along said track.

In total we lost 1 radar head, one tx cabin, one fuel bowser and fuel and one generator ( that was the best and final straw, the genny started to keel over on a bend and ended up with one side in the air )

The photo's were conviscated by the RAF police , boss was posted to a training station and we never never never deployed off road again.

BTW the army lost countless 4 tonners and a wrecker

and I do mean LOST the wrecker

[threesend]

junior bod please pm me as i dont want to name those involved on this site as they may well still be serving!

[OSACIN]

Whilst serving at 1 Div, Verden in the mid 70s I was the victim of stupidity in the name of bullshit. Having been detailed for the apptly named RSM's fatigue party,I, along with a few others, we all assembled outside the guardroom at Caithness Barracks> The lovely guardroom sgt whos name escapes me, introduced us to a landrover and trailer, in the back of the trailer were the traditional brooms, paint brushes and paint - youre off to shiel barracks (the other half of the 1 Div enclave) to paint the fire station ready for the FFR inspection on Wednesday. The fire station in question was a very grand title for a very squalid brick and corrugated iron shack which held a hand drawn fire cart. Two days of bullshit rendered this a lovely shack - the brick work was red, the cement painted white, the rust removed from the roof - it was a pleasure to behold.
On the Thursday following the FFR inspection, back on the fatigue party, we once again assembled outside the guardroom - to be reintroduced to the landrover, this time in the trailer were sledgehammers, pick axes, brushes etc, (health and safety - whats that) - the instruction today ......... You know that fire station you spent two days decorating - well now you can go and knock it down and get the site cleared by happy hour on friday.

[Steven]

A story of my own stupidity comes to mind.

Early 80s BFG and Ex Flyback. Some might remember it, for those to young or drunk it was where units from the UK/Berlin would come over to Germany to train for a couple of weeks and the Sigs had to deploy a det to provide comms incase they needed to "flyback" when the 5th Shock Army rolled over the border.

Now normally this Ex would be 6 weeks of utter boredom sitting on Lunebergeheide or Sennelager TA doing sod all except the odd comms check but on one never to be forgotten occasion our det had been attached to some armoured cav regt or other.

I was a freshly minted lancejack at the time and the proud owner of one of HMs finest shortwheel base landrovers so the OC of this mob detailed me to follow his recce troops when they moved location so that the rest of the guys could pack away the det (RR, gene, comms wagon etc) and then I would go back and lead them to the new location.

Sounds easy enough you would think. The problem was that they were all driving scimitars and "forgot" that I was following them.

On the first move I was following along quite happily when they went straight across this plowed field at about 400mph. I was bouncing around like a bouncy thing in a shaken box until I heard a very loud CLANG from underneath and the rover went beserk with the backend slewing around like a dogs tail. At the same time I was slammed against the steering wheel as if I had just stamped on the brake pedal. So anyway this went on for what seemed like hours until the rover stopped and stalled out. I climbed/fell out and staggered around the rover, there was a ploughed line in the ground leading back away from me for about 100 yds across this field. I had no fcuking idea what had happened but thought that perhaps I had caught a tree stump or something so I had a look under the vehicle. I had only gone and snapped the rear half shaft off and it had dug itself into the ground working as a very effective anchor.

I look up and see the cav bastards disappearing over the next hill, now remember this was in the days before Ptarmigan or mobile phones. I was 'kin stuck in a field in the middle of nowhere about 5 miles from my start point and no idea where the new loc was supposed to be.

I tramped back along the route we had come until I found the rest of the guys still packing up and managed to get in contact with my parent unit to send out a wrecker and a new rover.

The exercise wasn't over yet...

[Steven]

The next few moves went as planned. Them being bugged out and me following along and getting the grid of the next location and then going back and collecting the det.

The next move is a night move. So the recce team bug out with me following along and being ignored as normal. We drive for about half an hour and then go into a woods and onto convoy lights. We had been going through the woods for about 5 mins when the lead vehicle does a sharp right into a farm yard.

Now for those who have never been to Germany I should explain that this farmyard was one of those that looks like a walled fort. It had walls about 15-20 feet high around it with a huge arched entrance way and it was this that we drove through at about 10 Kph.

Well I say drove through, the two vehicles in front of me drove through I on the other hand didn’t. I was creeping along as I said about 10 Kph when the rover just stopped. Dead. As if I had hit a wall.

There was a burst of bright light as my head bounced off the wheel but luckily my nose took most of the force of the blow. Swearing and streaming blood I once again climbed/fell out of the rover.

There was nothing in the road in front of me and I hadn’t rear ended one of the scimitars in the dark. Resignedly I look under the rover and see a huge puddle of suspiciously dark stuff on the ground.
Thinking fcuk the night vision I pull out my torch and turn it on. The puddle is a nice dark oily black colour. I reach down and it is very hot. I look even further under the vehicle and that is when I see the remains of a red and white steel post buried in the guts of the engine, it had ripped the oil sump right off the bottom of the engine!
This post had, apparently, been set into the road to stop vehicles driving though the gateway as the owner used another way in out on the main road.

The armoured wnakers in front of me had sailed happily over the top of it with out even scratching the paint work but it had totally buggered my rover. Still on the bright side I did get some tea and sympathy from the owners missus when I begged a use of the phone to call the regiment and ask for another wrecker and yet another new rover.

From what the REME VMs said the MTO was not best pleased and “Would like you to explain in person” when the exercise was over. Sh!te…….

[fozzybear]

How about some female RR Ops fcuk ups???

Remember at 22 Sigs in early 90's deploying with the MAN up Hanover way. Departed Lippstadt at crack of sparrow's (cunningly timed so we could all hit the Hanover rush hour).

Anyway packet with the switch happily sails through the regimental release point when all of a sudden the tart driving the switch decides to turn off onto a minor road. Troop staffy in last vehicle, a landrover, quickly follows, flashing lights, etc.

Took him half an hour to finally stop the daft bint. When asked why she had turned off, she stated that she thought that 'something special was supposed to happen at the release point, so she thought she had better turn off'. OC very pleased that the switch was missing from the MAN!!!!

[narcof]

Once went to the Isle of Wight on a sqn ex, just my CNR det all on our lonesomes, were having a wail of a time trucking round and occasionally getting the comms in between pub meals and beach stops, when a certain Canadian f**kwit (hello J!) drove the det, trailer and all, into a farmer's field (er think we should have taken the second on the right you know...)
Anyway turned out to be a field of slurry (another name for evil-smelling black animal cack!) about 4 foot deep - had to send our det welshman to wade out (poor shortar*sed sod was waist deep!) and get the farmer to extract us with chains (the second one didn't break!) and tractor - can't remember for sure but I think we burnt his combats after...