Thread: What 66p could buy you

Aside from the royal family (clicky McClicky) what else could 66p buy you? Almost half a litre of petrol? 2 cans of Tesco own brand "export quality" lager?

Bargain if you ask me!!

If someone gave me 66p though i'd blow it on a packet of pork scratchings and ask the bar maid if i could sniff her...apron...

have to agree, seems rather cheap. And it's not like one of those Bright House offers that sounds cheap, you know, "just £13 pound a day", its only 66p a year. I lose more than that down the sofa every week.

Originally Posted by arby

Aside from the royal family (clicky McClicky) what else could 66p buy you? Almost half a litre of petrol? 2 cans of Tesco own brand "export quality" lager?

Well, that's the tax component on just one litre of petrol, or a bit of the tax component on one packet of fags, or a bit of the tax on one bottle of whisky.

It's a tiny, tiny amount by comparison of say, my road tax, my TV licence fee, the VAT I'll pay on a weekly shop in Tescos . . . the list goes on.

66p buys me the Royal Family for a year? Bring it on, breed away, fill yer boots . . . . don't fancy a job in Gobment do you? You'd save us all a facking fortune!

That’s not bad. Only 3.9%, just about in line with inflation. One assumes that includes helicopter flights to girlfriends house.

I wonder how much we pay to the likes of shannon matthews family and how much tourism and business they bring to britain

Just done some quick and dirty maths.

Average cost to the tax-payer of each MP (with wages and ALL perks found): £200,000 x 659 MPs: £131,800,000 as opposed to £40,000,000 for the Monarchy.

Before you say 'yeah, but there's 659 MPs so, it's quite cheap', that's just their perks and wages. The £40m figure for the Royal Family includes the maintenance of all their properties, royal duties, vehicles and aircraft . . . you get the idea.

If £40m costs each voter 66p, then what do the wages and perks of our MPs cost us each, without the additional costs of THEIR staff, House of Commons staff, House of Lords Staff, the Lords and Ladies, building maintenance etc etc etc etc etc?

No!! Dammit, 66p is far too expensive! I demand an 'ASDA Smart Price Royal Family':

- swap the Queen's Bentley for a second-hand Daewoo Matiz,

- replace Buck House with Portakabins - a block of 6 should be sufficiently imposing,

- get Ryanair to run the Royal Flight ("Look, your passport says 'Elizabeth Mountbatten-Windsor' whilst the passenger manifest clearly says 'Madge Quinn II', I can't let you on"),

- all those charities who currently have royal patrons can retain them, but the ASDA Smart Price Royal FamilyTM reserve the right to supply an alternative royal if the original one is not available. Then give all the public engagements to that Linley chap, he's cheap.

- Queen's Guard? Easy, the Boy Scouts can do that it's only standing still*. Only cost is a few quid for a run of "Guarding the Quen" badges - and ASDA can claim the cost back from the manufacturer for the spelling mistake.

- Windsor Castle to be completely transformed into "Windsor British-Super-Castle-Mega-Royal World" - stick a few rollercoasters in there as well and it should be self-funding. The Japanese'll love it with a name like that.

- Balmoral? That's in Scotland! They work in London during the week. Too far away to be paying for travel, sell it and get them a semi in Ruislip. I suppose they'll want a big back garden if it's going to be any kind of a replacement, but give them really pokey bedrooms to keep the cost down.

- Gold braid on royal uniforms to be replaced with Crunchie wrappers, no-one'll notice from a distance.

- Too many flunkeys, just have one official Royal Dogsbody to do everything. As their household staff are currently willing to work for them almost for free, we should be able to find at least one loon happy to really do it for free. When he/she dies from overwork, just find another one.

- Royal It's A Knockout to be re-introduced. Edward will produce it for nothing; foreign sales should be pretty high, especially if Beatrice, Eugenie and Zara can be convinced to do the swimming pool-based bits in thin white T-shirts and tight white cotton panties... Zara, Zara my love...

- Sponsorship. "And as the Duke of Orange takes his seat in the pew here in National Westminster Abbey (part of Santander) he is followed by the Prince of Vodafone and his wife the ever-radiant Princess L'Oreal, because she's worth it"


That should do it, or am I a mental?




*It's a fcuking joke before any Guardsmen start giving me grief - a JOKE! :D

puts the whole 'days wage to the corps' into perspective.... 66p=royal family whilst £58 or £72 = shiite postings, shiite jobs, shiite reports and kit that couldn't get comms if it tried. I'd prefer 100 royal families... for my money please.

Originally Posted by Tax_Tw-t

No!! Dammit, 66p is far too expensive! I demand an 'ASDA Smart Price Royal Family':

- swap the Queen's Bentley for a second-hand Daewoo Matiz,

- replace Buck House with Portakabins - a block of 6 should be sufficiently imposing,

- get Ryanair to run the Royal Flight ("Look, your passport says 'Elizabeth Mountbatten-Windsor' whilst the passenger manifest clearly says 'Madge Quinn II', I can't let you on"),

- all those charities who currently have royal patrons can retain them, but the ASDA Smart Price Royal FamilyTM reserve the right to supply an alternative royal if the original one is not available. Then give all the public engagements to that Linley chap, he's cheap.

- Queen's Guard? Easy, the Boy Scouts can do that it's only standing still*. Only cost is a few quid for a run of "Guarding the Quen" badges - and ASDA can claim the cost back from the manufacturer for the spelling mistake.

- Windsor Castle to be completely transformed into "Windsor British-Super-Castle-Mega-Royal World" - stick a few rollercoasters in there as well and it should be self-funding. The Japanese'll love it with a name like that.

- Balmoral? That's in Scotland! They work in London during the week. Too far away to be paying for travel, sell it and get them a semi in Ruislip. I suppose they'll want a big back garden if it's going to be any kind of a replacement, but give them really pokey bedrooms to keep the cost down.

- Gold braid on royal uniforms to be replaced with Crunchie wrappers, no-one'll notice from a distance.

- Too many flunkeys, just have one official Royal Dogsbody to do everything. As their household staff are currently willing to work for them almost for free, we should be able to find at least one loon happy to really do it for free. When he/she dies from overwork, just find another one.

- Royal It's A Knockout to be re-introduced. Edward will produce it for nothing; foreign sales should be pretty high, especially if Beatrice, Eugenie and Zara can be convinced to do the swimming pool-based bits in thin white T-shirts and tight white cotton panties... Zara, Zara my love...

- Sponsorship. "And as the Duke of Orange takes his seat in the pew here in National Westminster Abbey (part of Santander) he is followed by the Prince of Vodafone and his wife the ever-radiant Princess L'Oreal, because she's worth it"


That should do it, or am I a mental?




*It's a fcuking joke before any Guardsmen start giving me grief - a JOKE! :D

'Course it is, Mr. Brown, 'course it is...

Originally Posted by smartascarrots

Originally Posted by Tax_Tw-t

No!! Dammit, 66p is far too expensive! I demand an 'ASDA Smart Price Royal Family':

snip

That should do it, or am I a mental?




*It's a fcuking joke before any Guardsmen start giving me grief - a JOKE! :D

'Course it is, Mr. Brown, 'course it is...

Alright, I'm actually a whistleblower and it's a leaked portion of a Treasury consultation document, but please don't let anyone trace it back to me.

Originally Posted by Tax_Tw-t

Originally Posted by smartascarrots

Originally Posted by Tax_Tw-t

No!! Dammit, 66p is far too expensive! I demand an 'ASDA Smart Price Royal Family':

snip

That should do it, or am I a mental?




*It's a fcuking joke before any Guardsmen start giving me grief - a JOKE! :D

'Course it is, Mr. Brown, 'course it is...

Alright, I'm actually a whistleblower and it's a leaked portion of a Treasury consultation document, but please don't let anyone trace it back to me.

no you're not, your plan doesn't include any tax on 4 x 4s. pfft. whistle blower walts.

Originally Posted by arby

Originally Posted by Tax_Tw-t

Originally Posted by smartascarrots

Originally Posted by Tax_Tw-t

No!! Dammit, 66p is far too expensive! I demand an 'ASDA Smart Price Royal Family':

snip

That should do it, or am I a mental?




*It's a fcuking joke before any Guardsmen start giving me grief - a JOKE! :D

'Course it is, Mr. Brown, 'course it is...

Alright, I'm actually a whistleblower and it's a leaked portion of a Treasury consultation document, but please don't let anyone trace it back to me.

no you're not, your plan doesn't include any tax on 4 x 4s. pfft. whistle blower walts.

That's only because the 4x4 tax is waaay past the consultation stage.
They're just waiting for some major international incident so that it can be passed quickly by Parliament when everyone's looking the other way.

Originally Posted by Tax_Tw-t

Originally Posted by arby

Originally Posted by Tax_Tw-t

Originally Posted by smartascarrots

Originally Posted by Tax_Tw-t

No!! Dammit, 66p is far too expensive! I demand an 'ASDA Smart Price Royal Family':

snip

That should do it, or am I a mental?




*It's a fcuking joke before any Guardsmen start giving me grief - a JOKE! :D

'Course it is, Mr. Brown, 'course it is...

Alright, I'm actually a whistleblower and it's a leaked portion of a Treasury consultation document, but please don't let anyone trace it back to me.

no you're not, your plan doesn't include any tax on 4 x 4s. pfft. whistle blower walts.

That's only because the 4x4 tax is waaay past the consultation stage.
They're just waiting for some major international incident so that it can be passed quickly by Parliament when everyone's looking the other way.

hmmm i would probably stay out of hatfield station for the forseeable future then.

Originally Posted by arby

Aside from the royal family (clicky McClicky) what else could 66p buy you? Almost half a litre of petrol? 2 cans of Tesco own brand "export quality" lager?

A very cheap whore.